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Most popular articles - November, 2015

11/9/2015

 
Most popular articles on meditationSHIFT

We've revised our writing index to make it easier to find what you're looking for. We added a search box so you can look for articles by title or topic. And, we maintain a "most popular" list that is updated monthly.

You can find everything here:

Words: an index of articles from meditationSHIFT.


Below are the ten most popular articles right now. Check the index above for the next 10!

Stop being a victim of compulsive thinking.

A short (2 minute) read with a cartoon. What more can you ask for?

What type of meditation do I do? It's so confusing!

Is there a certain type of meditation for "this," and one for "that?" And it seems there are a lot of different types (there aren't) - please help! (6-minute read)

I want to overcome my anxiety by meditating!

Can meditating help you overcome anxiety? Here's how to approach it. (3-minute read)

How to meditate - short and simple.

Basic instructions - easy to read and follow. (3-minute read)

It's ok to be uncomfortable.

Trying to avoid pain and chase pleasure only causes you to suffer - here's why. (5-minute read)

The pursuit of happiness (or, stop looking for it "out there")!

We spend our lives chasing happiness - looking for it in external objects (people, places, things). This is a trap of the mind, and leads to a life of "peaks and valleys." (5-minute read)

Muddy water, mental noise, and Alan Watts.

Analysis of a popular Alan Watts quote, and how it's relevant in today's busy world. (3-minute read)

What Calvin and Hobbes taught me about mindfulness. (published on Medium)

This is the most popular article we've ever written - short, insightful, and with cartoons! (4-minute read)

You want enlightenment and liberation? Stop identifying with your thoughts!

There are stories constantly running through your head, and most of them are not helpful. Stop believing what your mind tells you, and stop following it wherever it leads you. (5-minute read)

My mind is too busy to meditate!

One of many prevalent misconceptions. Everyone's mind is busy, which is why we need to meditate consistently. (5-minute read)

<

What are you trying to "cope" with?
  • Stress? 
  • Anxiety? 
  • Sleep problems?

​​Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how.

Fall break - 2015

10/4/2015

 
Fall break

We take a "Fall Break" from writing in October to recharge and prepare for the end of one year and the beginning of another.

Over the next few weeks, we will be posting some "best of" and "most popular" lists. We start today with the most popular article here and on the tad blog:

  • Stop being a victim of compulsive thinking.
​​
  • Don't let other people control your mood: reacting vs. responding.

Make sure you sign up to receive updates from us (no Spam, ever)!

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​What are you trying to "cope" with?
  • Stress? 
  • Anxiety? 
  • Sleep problems?

​​Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how.

Quotes related to attachment.

9/23/2015

 
note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required).

Our last two musings have covered the topic of attachment:
  • Five words that can change your life.
  • Let go or be dragged.

Wednesday is our traditional "weekly quotes" day - we examine quotes (or a story) related to mindfulness, meditation, living in the present moment, happiness, and similar topics.

This week we are wrapping up attachment with some applicable quotes. As you read the following, remember what we said in our previous musing:

>>>
​
...we encouraged you to take an honest assessment of your attachments. We discussed how attachments result from our desire to control an existence that is inherently uncontrollable. We ignore this fact, and attempt to create certainty and security amidst the changing nature of reality. As such, we continuously grasp or chase after the things we find pleasant, and push away or run from the things we find unpleasant.

<<<

We will start with this from Paulo Coelho:

"It is best to accept life as it really is and not as I imagined it to be."

Simply put, don't be attached to the image you have of yourself, others, or the world around you. As we always say:

​There's what's happening, and there's the stories our minds tell us about what's happening - the two rarely match.

Next, a well-know quote form Heraclitus:

"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man."

All experience is transient. Everything comes into being due to causes and conditions, it exists for a time, and it ceases. We create our own suffering when we attach to things that are always changing - when we try to make something impermanent into something permanent. As Sam Harris says:

Ceaseless change is an unreliable basis for lasting fulfillment.

The final two quotes speak to the futility of clinging to attachments, and offer analogies to avoid doing so.

From Tich Nguyet Han:

"Swallows fly in the sky, 
The water reflects their images. 
The swallows leave no traces, 
Nor does the water retain their images." 


And, from the book "Geeta Enlightened" by Yogi Mahajan:

"Lao Tse say: 'When the sage walks he leaves no footprints behind.'

He is in timelessness, where no one moment is more precious than the other. In his journey through life, the sage leaves no traces on the sands of the mind. He neither goes anywhere, nor comes from anywhere. Like a lotus leaf he remains untouched by the ripples of the water."


The root of suffering is attachment


Stop dealing with the symptoms.

Stress, anxiety, self-confidence issues, the inability to stop bad habits, problems with sleep and focus, and on and on and on.

These and the other things we struggle with every day are only symptoms. 

The good news is, they all share the same root cause. The bad news is, if you don't address that root cause, the symptoms will keep coming back no matter what you do.

That's why we wrote "An owner's guide to the mind." For almost 20 years, people have been using it to address the root cause of their daily struggles.

Click here to view the contents and learn more.​

Let go or be dragged.

9/22/2015

 
Last updated November, 2019.

​Before you scroll down...we keep this site ad-free for our readers. If you get value from what we write, please consider supporting us by checking out the overview for our best-selling work, "An owner's guide to the mind".

>

This is a follow up to our previous musing, "Five words that can change your life."

From Thich Thien-An:

"Happiness is something very beautiful, just like a butterfly. On warm summer days the butterfly darts back and forth above the green grass and the colourful flowers, looking very beautiful. But one must not try to catch it, for when the butterfly is caught in the hand, it becomes no more than just an insect...If we try to grasp happiness and hold on to it forever, it will die in our hands. We must let its beauty come and go and enjoy it while it lasts."

​In our previous musing, we encouraged you to take an honest assessment of your attachments. We discussed how attachments result from our desire to control an existence that is inherently uncontrollable. We ignore this fact, and attempt to create certainty and security amidst the changing nature of reality. As such, we continuously grasp or chase after the things we find pleasant, and push away or run from the things we find unpleasant.

But, these ongoing efforts to create certainty and security cause us to suffer more than the impermanence of our experience:
  • We can't always be comfortable, and the futile attempt to force external circumstances to conform to our wishes only brings additional discomfort;
  • Other people don't do what we want, and we become more upset over our unmet expectations than their actions (or lack of actions);
  • The image we have of ourselves - who we are, what we will accomplish, how others should view us - is easily shattered by the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, a bad decision, or random misfortune. Clinging to an image of how we think our life should be and rejecting how it actually is causes us to live in fear and regret, and gives rise to feelings of anxiety and depression.

A wise man once said, 

"You aren't unhappy with the situation - you are unhappy because you want the situation to be different. You are attached to how you think it should be, and you can't move forward until you accept reality as it is."

If we don't let go of our attachments, we are dragged through a life of self-imposed suffering. We make ourselves into victims because things don't happen the way we want them to. We have a desire to control life, and when things don't go as planned we become frustrated, disappointed, resentful, angry - the list goes on and on.

How do you let go? As with everything we discuss, the key is awareness. 
  • Become aware of your attachments (we listed some to get you started here). 
  • Become aware of the suffering your attachments cause. Use the examples in the link above and apply them to your own.
  • Become aware of the thoughts that give rise to - and reinforce - your attachments. Learn to notice them as they come into being, and realize you don't have to indulge them.

Developing a consistent meditation practice and bringing mindfulness to your daily life helps you strengthen awareness.
Picture

Stop getting caught up in the stories running through your head.

  >>>   Learn about what we teach.

​  >>>   Join our mailing list.

Five words that can change your life.

9/16/2015

 
Last updated November, 2019.

​
Before you scroll down...we keep this site ad-free for our readers. If you get value from what we write, please consider supporting us by checking out the overview for our best-selling work, "An owner's guide to the mind".

>
​
​Over the years we've written a lot about topics related to mindfulness and meditation. We've published more than 100 articles here and elsewhere on the Internet, as well as a steady stream of Facebook posts and Tweets.

All of these topics share a common thread that can be summed up in 5 words, as represented in this Zen proverb:

"Let go or be dragged."

Life's suffering can be traced back to our attachments. We are attached to:
  • being comfortable and experiencing pleasure;
  • not being uncomfortable and not experiencing pain;
  • the image we hold of ourselves as "this type of person";
  • expectations we have of how others should treat us;
  • what we think we should accomplish in life, and where we are related to these goals;
  • the comfort of familiar situations and relationships, even if they are unhealthy;
  • the things we depend on to escape reality: food, alcohol, drugs, television, video games, the Internet, each other;
  • our labels, judgments, preconceived notions, and opinions;
  • our fears: death, being insignificant, not getting our fair share, or not getting more than our fair share (i.e., being on top or winning);
  • the stories we tell ourselves about everything;
  • and on and on.

We have attachments because we seek certainty in a world ruled by impermanence. We want to control the uncontrollable. We want to be secure.

Things should fit into this nice box we've designed. And, if they don't, we experience frustration, disappointment, resentment, anger...

If we learned to let go, however, we wouldn't be dragged.

The problem is, letting go is scary. It's scary because attachments are familiar. They are comfortable. As such, you could even say we are attached to our attachments.

But the alternative - a lifetime of self-imposed suffering - is scarier. Isn't it?

If so, why do we still cling to our attachments?

The answer is, most of us don't give attention to the idea of "letting go." We simply go through life experiencing the roller coaster of ups and downs - and, we call it normal.

​The good news is, if you've read this far, you are giving attention to the idea of "letting go." And, you are realizing there are two options in each unfolding moment:
  • let go of attachments;
  • be dragged through a life of self-imposed suffering.

What are you going to do? 

I suggest being mindful in the hours and days ahead, and making note of your attachments (i.e., taking an honest assessment). And, mark your calendar to check back here in a few days for a follow-up musing with suggestions for next steps

​(note - here is that follow-up musing).

Stop getting caught up in the stories running through your head.

  >>>   Learn about what we teach.

​  >>>   Join our mailing list.
Picture

A bus away from here: your thoughts and the present moment.

9/15/2015

 
Last updated December, 2017.

​note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required).
Port Authority buses
​I lived in New Jersey for several years and worked in New York City. A lot of times I would take the bus into Manhattan and get dropped off at Port Authority Bus Terminal. The sight of dozens of buses lined up to get into (and out of) the city was always amazing to me.

Those buses are a good analogy for thoughts: there is an endless line of them running through our heads at any given moment, coming and going. 

More often than not, we hop on one and travel wherever it takes us. Maybe to the past to dwell on things we have (or haven't) done. Maybe to the future to experience stress and anxiety over what may (or may not) happen. Or, maybe to a fantasy world to escape our present reality.

Our tendency to get lost in thought is akin to jumping from bus to bus to bus - we ultimately find ourselves at a destination so far removed from "here and now" that it's almost comical. 

The first bus may be a thought about something you need to do at work, or an argument you had with your partner, or something you regret doing (or not doing). Before you know it, you've jumped off that bus onto another, and from that one onto another, and you end up on a bus that's a thought about something that happened when you were a child. Or a bus that's a thought about how meaningless your life is, and how you've made nothing of yourself when compared to Bob or Mary or Joe.

This is the nature of our compulsive minds. They constantly pull us away from the present moment, and bury us in a landslide of mental activity. Practicing mindfulness, however, teaches you that you don't have to board those passing buses. You can watch as they come and go, and let them travel to their destination without you as a passenger.

You either hop on the bus or you let it pass. Once you decide to let it pass, you realize you can do it again and again.

And, if you are consistent in your practice, you'll be able to reverse the conditioned behavior that results from following your mind wherever it leads.

Symptoms vs. root cause.

Stress, anxiety, self-confidence issues, the inability to stop bad habits, problems with sleep and focus...these and the other things we struggle with every day are only symptoms. 

The good news is, they all share the same root cause. The bad news is, if you don't address that root cause, the symptoms will keep coming back no matter what you do.

That's why we wrote "An owner's guide to the mind" - for almost 20 years, people have been using it to address the root cause and help end their daily struggles.

Find out why many of them call it "life-changing" - click here to see the contents and learn more.

Two tigers and a strawberry.

9/9/2015

 
Thanks for visiting - 2023 marks our 20th anniversary!

​This site is ad-free and supported by sales of our online courses. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the bottom of the page and read Day 1 of "Your inner narrative" to see if it's right for you...no email required.
Tiger strawberry
Wednesday is our traditional "weekly quotes" day - we examine quotes or a story related to mindfulness, meditation, living in the present moment, happiness, and similar topics.

This week we are going to discuss a popular Zen parable:

>>>

A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger chasing after him.

Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to see, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him.

Only the vine sustained him. But, two mice - one white and one black - started to gnaw away at it.

The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other.

How sweet it tasted!

<<<

You can attribute many different meanings (or lessons) to this story.

The most obvious is enjoy the present moment. In the case of the man hanging from the vine, if he is caught up in his mind, habitually chasing after experience he believes will deliver pleasant feelings and running from experience he believes will deliver unpleasant feelings, he will be oblivious to the strawberry before him (i.e., he'll never be content with here and now).

It goes deeper than this, however.

The tigers represent self-imposed suffering. The man is trying to escape the suffering he perceives in the first tiger and, in his attempt to do so, encounters more suffering in the second tiger. We all do the same thing every day - it doesn't matter what we are trying to "escape"...
  • discomfort and unease
  • not getting what we want
  • getting what we don't want
  • relationship problems
  • work problems
  • aging, illness, and (inevitably) death

Regardless, we spend most of our time running from here to there in an attempt to avoid the "tigers" in our lives. But, it's impossible to avoid them.

That doesn't deter us, though. We try to escape by changing our external circumstances. We constantly attempt to arrange our lives so we're surrounded by what we like, and protected from what we dislike. And, failing those efforts, we choose to distract ourselves with things like entertainment (games, tv, music, activities), food, relationships, drugs, alcohol, or a new purchase from the store. 

At best, these things provide temporary relief. At worst, they create more tigers.

We also turn things we label "pleasant" or "good" into self-imposed suffering. Why? Because we don't realize the truth of impermanence (ceaseless change is the basis for reality!). Even if we do realize it, we ignore it. Instead, we cling to the good things. We try to keep them from ending. And, when they do change or go away, we attempt to replace or replenish them.

These efforts also create more tigers, because nothing stays unchanging over time.

​So, we endlessly chase after "this" and run away from "that." We try to control experience, and make it conform to what we want. These constant attempts to arrange our lives in such a manner leave us in a precarious position - just like the man hanging there. The next unfolding moment can't be stopped; the mice are gnawing on the vine. Bad news will come, problems will arise, we don't always get what we want...

​Our attempts to control will eventually fail, just like the vine will eventually give way.

The strawberry, on the other hand, doesn't represent an escape from reality - it represents reality itself. It's what exists beyond the mental constructs that condition our behavior and keep us running from the unpleasant and chasing after the pleasant.

And, the good news is, we can be content with reality even if the external situations in our lives aren't always as we want.

​Joy, sadness, pleasure, pain - it all comes and it all goes.  Instead of trying to surround ourselves with what we like and protect ourselves from what we dislike, we can learn to recognize the transient nature of experience. We can understand that it's impossible to control - all we can do is have wholesome intentions, make skillful decisions, and take appropriate actions.

We can realize there is no permanent state of comfort or discomfort. And, the stories our minds tell us about the things that are happening cause us to suffer more than what's actually happening.

In short, the sweet taste of the strawberry (reality) can be experienced if we stop getting caught up in our minds - if we stop allowing ourselves to be held hostage by the next thought, emotion, or urge that pops into our heads.

How sweet reality tastes without the self-imposed suffering!
<>

​
Our minds constantly create stories about what we experience, and we spend most of our time caught up in those stories. This results in the stress and struggles of daily life.

"Your inner narrative" (our 15-day online course) can help you break that pattern.

​
Read Day 1 here (no email required).

​
And, if you're looking for our free guide, you can find it here.

Stop being a victim of compulsive thinking.

9/6/2015

 
Thanks for visiting - 2023 marks our 20th anniversary!

​This site is ad-free and supported by sales of our online courses. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the bottom of the page and read Day 1 of "Your inner narrative" to see if it's right for you...no email required.
Picture
The cartoon above is from Tolle's book "Guardians of Being." It's illustrated by Patrick McDonnell, creator of the comic strip MUTTS.

In eight panels, it aptly describes our usual state of being: lost in compulsive thinking.

This compulsive thinking is the foundation for the struggles we all face:
  • stress
  • endless worry
  • extreme emotions
  • a lack of focus
  • an inability to break bad habits
  • feelings of anxiety and depression
  • a negative self-image
  • sleep problems
  • tension headaches
  • chronic pain, especially in the neck, shoulders, and back
  • and on and on...

​​The only thing I would change about the message in the cartoon is the last panel - instead of "Shtop (stop) thinking" I would say

"Stop getting caught up in mental drama." Or, "Stop following your mind wherever it leads."

This is the essence of mindfulness and meditation. They are practices that allow you to strengthen awareness of your mind and its non-stop activity. They help you develop the skill of observing it all without getting caught up in it. They train you to move your attention away from the mental noise (and drama) instead of indulging it.

​As such, you are no longer held hostage by the next thought, emotion, or urge that pops into your head.

And, you can begin chipping away at the conditioned behavior (habitually reacting with desire or aversion) that creates the struggles in your life.
<>

​
Our minds constantly create stories about what we experience, and we spend most of our time caught up in those stories. This results in the stress and struggles of daily life.

"Your inner narrative" (our 15-day online course) can help you break that pattern.

​
Read Day 1 here (no email required).

​
And, if you're looking for our free guide, you can find it here.
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