Thanks for visiting - last year (2023) marked our 20th anniversary!
In 2024 we're releasing our newest program - if you struggle with chronic stress, you can read more about it by clicking the link at the bottom of this guide.
In 2024 we're releasing our newest program - if you struggle with chronic stress, you can read more about it by clicking the link at the bottom of this guide.
Our free guide to mindfulness and meditation
Last updated January, 2024. Please share freely.
Welcome!
This guide gives you an introduction to your compulsive mind and non-stop thoughts, and answers the following questions:
It was first published over 20 years ago, and it's been shared around the Internet more than 1,000,000 times (we stopped tracking it in 2018, but appreciate the continued interest and sharing!).
The average reader can complete it in around 15 minutes. We hope you take the time to do so, because mindfulness and meditation - properly taught and applied - can greatly impact your overall health and well-being.
Welcome!
This guide gives you an introduction to your compulsive mind and non-stop thoughts, and answers the following questions:
- Why should I meditate?
- What are mindfulness and meditation?
- How do I meditate?
It was first published over 20 years ago, and it's been shared around the Internet more than 1,000,000 times (we stopped tracking it in 2018, but appreciate the continued interest and sharing!).
The average reader can complete it in around 15 minutes. We hope you take the time to do so, because mindfulness and meditation - properly taught and applied - can greatly impact your overall health and well-being.
Why should I meditate?
The habit of spending nearly every waking minute lost in thought leaves us at the mercy of whatever our thoughts happen to be. - Sam Harris
It's an important question, and even those with years of experience may not have a clear answer to "Why should I meditate?"
Mindfulness and meditation are popular buzzwords these days. People read about them in articles, or hear friends talking about them. Maybe they saw the 60 Minutes special where Anderson Cooper went on a weekend retreat, or read the issue of TIME Magazine dedicated to mindfulness.
Regardless, when people become interested, they usually Google "how to meditate," find some instructions, and sit down in an uncomfortable position with their legs crossed to do...well, something.
But, they usually don't know anything about their compulsive mind. And, they usually don't know anything about the struggles their compulsive mind creates in their life. So, they end up doing an activity without really understanding its purpose. This approach reduces meditating to another item on their "to-do list," or another chore that's added to their daily routine.
Brush your teeth, wash the dishes, take out the trash, meditate...how long will the average person stick with that?
Mindfulness and meditation aren't chores, however. They represent a "way of being" - a shift in how you live your life. That may sound dramatic, but as you read this guide you will come to understand why it's true.
Another challenge most people face is there are a lot of misconceptions about mindfulness and meditation. A lot of misconceptions. A few of the most prevalent are:
All of them are false, but all of them are repeated often.
This brings us back to the original question: Why should you do it?
THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD
We all have a voice in our heads, and you've probably noticed it more than once over the years.
We've lived with this voice for so long, some of us may not even realize it's there. But it is.
And, it's always going.
It's compulsive. It's incessant. It has an opinion about everything.
It's constantly judging - not just others, but you as well! It compares you to everybody else, and tells you that other people are better off. It tells you that you aren't as successful as Bob. Or, you don't have as much as Mary.
That voice is your mind. If you don't become aware of it, it simply drags you through life.
Feelings, thoughts, and emotions lead to decisions, actions, and reactions: your mind drives your behavior. It dictates how you interact with everyone and everything around you.
Most of us operate on "autopilot." Our minds push and pull us through our days, and we tend to be held hostage by the next thought or urge that pops into our head...or, the next emotion that sweeps through our body.
We spend most of our existence lost in thought. What does that mean?
It means the voice in your head is narrating the world around you, and you're usually oblivious to it. You aren't actually seeing things as they are - you're seeing things through the filter of the mind. You aren't dealing with reality, you're dealing with the constructs the mind puts on top of reality.
Why does the mind do this? Because its primary function is to solve problems.
You may have heard the saying "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." It's the same with our minds, except everything looks like a problem. As such, the mind always wants things to be different than they are.
Yes, we can be happy and content. But, I'm sure you've noticed that it never actually lasts long.
Happiness fades and we grow restless with what we have. Or, we wish for (we desire) what we don't have. And that voice in our heads is always telling us we can be happier and more content "if only" something else happens:
Nothing is ever good as it is - something always needs to be changed or fixed. And, the promise of happiness lies just over the horizon...once we "achieve this" or "acquire that."
The trap we all fall into is, no matter what we achieve or acquire, happiness is always going to be "just over the horizon."
IF you continue to follow your mind, that is.
And, IF you continue to follow your mind, it will constantly create the struggles you deal with every day:
Mindfulness and meditation are the cure for these struggles.
That's why you should do it.
Mindfulness and meditation are popular buzzwords these days. People read about them in articles, or hear friends talking about them. Maybe they saw the 60 Minutes special where Anderson Cooper went on a weekend retreat, or read the issue of TIME Magazine dedicated to mindfulness.
Regardless, when people become interested, they usually Google "how to meditate," find some instructions, and sit down in an uncomfortable position with their legs crossed to do...well, something.
But, they usually don't know anything about their compulsive mind. And, they usually don't know anything about the struggles their compulsive mind creates in their life. So, they end up doing an activity without really understanding its purpose. This approach reduces meditating to another item on their "to-do list," or another chore that's added to their daily routine.
Brush your teeth, wash the dishes, take out the trash, meditate...how long will the average person stick with that?
Mindfulness and meditation aren't chores, however. They represent a "way of being" - a shift in how you live your life. That may sound dramatic, but as you read this guide you will come to understand why it's true.
Another challenge most people face is there are a lot of misconceptions about mindfulness and meditation. A lot of misconceptions. A few of the most prevalent are:
- "I'm supposed to stop thinking (or, clear my mind)."
- "It will help me control my thoughts."
- "It will cause me to become cold and detached."
All of them are false, but all of them are repeated often.
This brings us back to the original question: Why should you do it?
THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD
We all have a voice in our heads, and you've probably noticed it more than once over the years.
We've lived with this voice for so long, some of us may not even realize it's there. But it is.
And, it's always going.
It's compulsive. It's incessant. It has an opinion about everything.
It's constantly judging - not just others, but you as well! It compares you to everybody else, and tells you that other people are better off. It tells you that you aren't as successful as Bob. Or, you don't have as much as Mary.
That voice is your mind. If you don't become aware of it, it simply drags you through life.
Feelings, thoughts, and emotions lead to decisions, actions, and reactions: your mind drives your behavior. It dictates how you interact with everyone and everything around you.
Most of us operate on "autopilot." Our minds push and pull us through our days, and we tend to be held hostage by the next thought or urge that pops into our head...or, the next emotion that sweeps through our body.
We spend most of our existence lost in thought. What does that mean?
It means the voice in your head is narrating the world around you, and you're usually oblivious to it. You aren't actually seeing things as they are - you're seeing things through the filter of the mind. You aren't dealing with reality, you're dealing with the constructs the mind puts on top of reality.
Why does the mind do this? Because its primary function is to solve problems.
You may have heard the saying "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." It's the same with our minds, except everything looks like a problem. As such, the mind always wants things to be different than they are.
Yes, we can be happy and content. But, I'm sure you've noticed that it never actually lasts long.
Happiness fades and we grow restless with what we have. Or, we wish for (we desire) what we don't have. And that voice in our heads is always telling us we can be happier and more content "if only" something else happens:
- If only we get that promotion or new job.
- If only we find the perfect partner.
- If only we get a new car.
- If only we live "there" instead of "here."
- If only we buy the next iPhone...or those shoes...or that video game (or, whatever new "thing" you believe you need in your life).
Nothing is ever good as it is - something always needs to be changed or fixed. And, the promise of happiness lies just over the horizon...once we "achieve this" or "acquire that."
The trap we all fall into is, no matter what we achieve or acquire, happiness is always going to be "just over the horizon."
IF you continue to follow your mind, that is.
And, IF you continue to follow your mind, it will constantly create the struggles you deal with every day:
- stress
- endless worry
- extreme emotions
- a lack of focus
- an inability to break bad habits
- feelings of anxiety and depression
- a negative self-image
- sleep problems
- tension headaches
- chronic pain, especially in the neck, shoulders, and back
- and on and on...
Mindfulness and meditation are the cure for these struggles.
That's why you should do it.
What are mindfulness and meditation?
Can you look without the voice in your head commenting, drawing conclusions, or trying to figure something out? - Eckhart Tolle
In any given moment, we are in one of two states:
The bad news is, it's usually the first state and not the second.
Our minds produce a lot of drama, and being caught up in that drama leads to a lot of suffering.
To end the suffering our minds create, we need to strengthen awareness of feelings, thoughts, emotions, urges, and those stories playing in our heads.
MINDFULNESS AND MEDITATION...EXPLAINED
Mindfulness is the ability to pay attention to experience without getting distracted by the "mental noise" about that experience.
Another way to say that is, being mindful allows us to empty experience of the stories our minds tell about it.
Mindfulness is synonymous with awareness: when we strengthen awareness, we cultivate mindfulness.
When we are mindful, we have the ability to focus our attention on what's happening here and now, rather than letting it get hijacked by thoughts about the past, future, or an alternate reality (fantasy).
As discussed earlier, the mind is never happy with the present moment - it sees everything as a problem that needs to be solved or fixed. As such, it pulls our attention into the past to dwell on what we did or didn't do (or, what we should have done). Or, maybe to re-live that experience where we felt victorious, happy, and successful (i.e., longing for the "good times").
If the mind isn't pulling our attention into the past, it's projecting it into the future to worry about things that may or may not happen. Or, to fantasize about a time when things will be perfect - when we're surrounded by everything we like, and shielded from everything we don't like.
"Mentally living" somewhere other than the present moment leads to struggles such as regret, depression, stress, anxiety, and a lack of self-confidence. Mindfulness combats that.
Which leads to the next question: How do you cultivate this state of mindfulness? The answer is meditation.
Meditation is a dedicated practice that allows you to train your attention to focus where you want it to focus. It allows you to strengthen awareness of mental activity so you can develop the skill of observing feelings, thoughts, emotions, and urges without getting caught up in them.
A good analogy to help you understand how mindfulness and meditation work together comes from looking at the role of an athlete:
If you are an athlete, you practice so you can perform well in the game. "Practice" is meditation. "Performing" is mindfulness. "The game" is daily life.
We meditate so we can be mindful in our daily lives.
One more analogy: think of your mind like the trashcan in your home. The trashcan is a great tool, just like your mind is a great tool. If, however, you decide to crawl into the trashcan and live there, it becomes a major problem. And, that's what we usually do: we live in our heads, captured by the inner narrative that is constantly (constantly!) going.
Mindfulness and meditation teach you to stop living in your head. They teach you to stop being at the mercy of the drama your mind produces.
>>>
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- caught up in (lost in) the activity of our minds, or
- aware of the activity of our minds.
The bad news is, it's usually the first state and not the second.
Our minds produce a lot of drama, and being caught up in that drama leads to a lot of suffering.
To end the suffering our minds create, we need to strengthen awareness of feelings, thoughts, emotions, urges, and those stories playing in our heads.
MINDFULNESS AND MEDITATION...EXPLAINED
Mindfulness is the ability to pay attention to experience without getting distracted by the "mental noise" about that experience.
Another way to say that is, being mindful allows us to empty experience of the stories our minds tell about it.
Mindfulness is synonymous with awareness: when we strengthen awareness, we cultivate mindfulness.
When we are mindful, we have the ability to focus our attention on what's happening here and now, rather than letting it get hijacked by thoughts about the past, future, or an alternate reality (fantasy).
As discussed earlier, the mind is never happy with the present moment - it sees everything as a problem that needs to be solved or fixed. As such, it pulls our attention into the past to dwell on what we did or didn't do (or, what we should have done). Or, maybe to re-live that experience where we felt victorious, happy, and successful (i.e., longing for the "good times").
If the mind isn't pulling our attention into the past, it's projecting it into the future to worry about things that may or may not happen. Or, to fantasize about a time when things will be perfect - when we're surrounded by everything we like, and shielded from everything we don't like.
"Mentally living" somewhere other than the present moment leads to struggles such as regret, depression, stress, anxiety, and a lack of self-confidence. Mindfulness combats that.
Which leads to the next question: How do you cultivate this state of mindfulness? The answer is meditation.
Meditation is a dedicated practice that allows you to train your attention to focus where you want it to focus. It allows you to strengthen awareness of mental activity so you can develop the skill of observing feelings, thoughts, emotions, and urges without getting caught up in them.
A good analogy to help you understand how mindfulness and meditation work together comes from looking at the role of an athlete:
If you are an athlete, you practice so you can perform well in the game. "Practice" is meditation. "Performing" is mindfulness. "The game" is daily life.
We meditate so we can be mindful in our daily lives.
One more analogy: think of your mind like the trashcan in your home. The trashcan is a great tool, just like your mind is a great tool. If, however, you decide to crawl into the trashcan and live there, it becomes a major problem. And, that's what we usually do: we live in our heads, captured by the inner narrative that is constantly (constantly!) going.
Mindfulness and meditation teach you to stop living in your head. They teach you to stop being at the mercy of the drama your mind produces.
>>>
Brief interruption...if you like what you're reading, join our private (free) mailing list. You won't get a lot of emails cluttering your inbox - on average we send one message every month.
Our privacy policy hasn't changed in 20 years: we keep all email addresses and personal information confidential, and we never share, sell, trade, or give away your details.
Join thousands of other subscribers (you can unsubscribe anytime, and there's no Spam ever):
How do I meditate?
When it comes to mindfulness and meditation, an Internet search will yield tens of millions of results.
There's a lot of information out there. And, unfortunately, much of it is not helpful.
Bad instruction is commonplace, and most writing on mindfulness and meditation promotes the many misconceptions we mentioned earlier. This leads to a situation where the majority of people will try to meditate a few times, get frustrated, and give up.
It doesn't have to be this way, though.
The good news is, once you understand your mind and why you should meditate, the actual process of doing it is simple.
It doesn't matter how many thoughts you have, or if your mind is "always busy." All that matters is you follow the process, and you do it consistently (consistency is key, as it is with any skill you are trying to develop).
Here are the five steps to follow:
STEP ONE
Sit down in a comfortable position with your back straight.
You don’t need a specific pose or posture. It's not necessary to sit in the lotus position with your legs crossed.
Just sit - as opposed to lying down - with your back straight.
You can use a chair or couch (provided you aren't reclining). Or, sit on the floor with your back against the wall.
Sitting with a straight back promotes alertness. So, unless physical ailments or medical conditions necessitate it, avoid lying down or reclining.
STEP TWO
Take a few deep breaths, and then let your breathing continue at a natural pace.
Don’t try to force it. Don't try to speed it up or slow it down. Don’t try to control it at all - let it flow naturally.
Close your eyes.
STEP THREE
Focus your attention on your breath as it enters and exits your nostrils.
If you have trouble "finding" the breath as it enters and exits your nostrils, you can focus your attention on your stomach or chest as it rises and falls.
Keep your attention there, feeling the air as it travels into and out of your body.
STEP FOUR
At some point, you will notice your attention has wandered, and you'll become aware it's caught up in thoughts.
Most likely a lot of thoughts.
They can be about anything: something else you think you should be doing, someone that pissed you off, a project at work or school, a movie you saw five years ago. There might be thoughts about a noise you hear, something you smell, or a sensation you feel such as a breeze, an ache, a cramp, or an itch. The possibilities are endless!
STEP FIVE
When you notice your attention has wandered and it's caught up in thoughts, simply return it to your breath as it enters and exits your nostrils (or, your stomach or chest as it rises and falls).
Once again, don't try to control your breath - let it flow naturally.
And, don't judge the thoughts (or yourself for having the thoughts). Don't try to stop them, or wish them to be different.
Don't judge anything you become aware of - simply observe everything from a neutral perspective. And, if you do find yourself judging, simply observe that too (don't judge your judging!).
Watch it all as it comes and watch it all as it goes - like clouds moving across the sky.
None of it is permanent. With practice, you can observe the temporary nature of everything that arises is your awareness. And when you notice your attention is caught up in thoughts, simply return it to your breath.
Noticing that your attention has wandered and returning it to your breath is the objective. That's success! When you notice and return, you are no longer caught up in mind-made activity!
So, notice and return over and over and over again.
That's it. Five simple steps.
Relax, focus your attention on your breath, and when you notice it has wandered, return your attention to your breath.
Try to practice for at least 10 minutes a session, two sessions a day. Of course, longer is better - most of our students practice for 20 minutes a session, two sessions a day. But, any amount of time is good. The key is to get started!
Take that first step, and then the next, and then the next.
Build momentum.
There's a lot of information out there. And, unfortunately, much of it is not helpful.
Bad instruction is commonplace, and most writing on mindfulness and meditation promotes the many misconceptions we mentioned earlier. This leads to a situation where the majority of people will try to meditate a few times, get frustrated, and give up.
It doesn't have to be this way, though.
The good news is, once you understand your mind and why you should meditate, the actual process of doing it is simple.
It doesn't matter how many thoughts you have, or if your mind is "always busy." All that matters is you follow the process, and you do it consistently (consistency is key, as it is with any skill you are trying to develop).
Here are the five steps to follow:
STEP ONE
Sit down in a comfortable position with your back straight.
You don’t need a specific pose or posture. It's not necessary to sit in the lotus position with your legs crossed.
Just sit - as opposed to lying down - with your back straight.
You can use a chair or couch (provided you aren't reclining). Or, sit on the floor with your back against the wall.
Sitting with a straight back promotes alertness. So, unless physical ailments or medical conditions necessitate it, avoid lying down or reclining.
STEP TWO
Take a few deep breaths, and then let your breathing continue at a natural pace.
Don’t try to force it. Don't try to speed it up or slow it down. Don’t try to control it at all - let it flow naturally.
Close your eyes.
STEP THREE
Focus your attention on your breath as it enters and exits your nostrils.
If you have trouble "finding" the breath as it enters and exits your nostrils, you can focus your attention on your stomach or chest as it rises and falls.
Keep your attention there, feeling the air as it travels into and out of your body.
STEP FOUR
At some point, you will notice your attention has wandered, and you'll become aware it's caught up in thoughts.
Most likely a lot of thoughts.
They can be about anything: something else you think you should be doing, someone that pissed you off, a project at work or school, a movie you saw five years ago. There might be thoughts about a noise you hear, something you smell, or a sensation you feel such as a breeze, an ache, a cramp, or an itch. The possibilities are endless!
STEP FIVE
When you notice your attention has wandered and it's caught up in thoughts, simply return it to your breath as it enters and exits your nostrils (or, your stomach or chest as it rises and falls).
Once again, don't try to control your breath - let it flow naturally.
And, don't judge the thoughts (or yourself for having the thoughts). Don't try to stop them, or wish them to be different.
Don't judge anything you become aware of - simply observe everything from a neutral perspective. And, if you do find yourself judging, simply observe that too (don't judge your judging!).
Watch it all as it comes and watch it all as it goes - like clouds moving across the sky.
None of it is permanent. With practice, you can observe the temporary nature of everything that arises is your awareness. And when you notice your attention is caught up in thoughts, simply return it to your breath.
Noticing that your attention has wandered and returning it to your breath is the objective. That's success! When you notice and return, you are no longer caught up in mind-made activity!
So, notice and return over and over and over again.
That's it. Five simple steps.
Relax, focus your attention on your breath, and when you notice it has wandered, return your attention to your breath.
Try to practice for at least 10 minutes a session, two sessions a day. Of course, longer is better - most of our students practice for 20 minutes a session, two sessions a day. But, any amount of time is good. The key is to get started!
Take that first step, and then the next, and then the next.
Build momentum.
Thoughts come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor. - Thich Nhat Hanh
As you practice, you are training your attention to focus where you want it to focus. You are strengthening awareness of your compulsive mind and non-stop mental activity. You are developing the skill of observing it all without getting caught up in it.
Instead of following your mind down a path that culminates in conditioned behavior and habitual actions and reactions, you return your attention to your breath.
Notice and return over and over and over again. Repetition is key (as it is with any skill you are trying to develop).
One note of caution: most people are surprised to find out how busy their minds are. In fact, many will say that meditating makes their minds busier, and actually produces more thoughts. This is another common misconception, though.
This misconception exists because we spend most of our lives unaware of what our minds are doing in the first place. Now that we are putting focused attention on them, we are getting a first-hand view of just how active (and, frankly, how crazy) the mind can be.
The benefits of mindfulness and meditation are numerous and well documented. You realize those benefits when you transfer the skills you develop while meditating to your "non-meditating time." Another way to say this is, you realize those benefits when you apply mindfulness.
Remember, we meditate so we can be mindful in our daily lives.
And, as you bring mindfulness to your daily life, you begin chipping away at a lifetime of conditioning. You become more and more aware of that voice in your head, and learn to distance yourself from it.
The space that you create allows you to break free from the control your mind holds over you. This, in turn, reduces your struggles and suffering, and allows you to make better decisions and take more skillful actions.
We update this guide often, so bookmark this page and check back in the future.
Instead of following your mind down a path that culminates in conditioned behavior and habitual actions and reactions, you return your attention to your breath.
Notice and return over and over and over again. Repetition is key (as it is with any skill you are trying to develop).
One note of caution: most people are surprised to find out how busy their minds are. In fact, many will say that meditating makes their minds busier, and actually produces more thoughts. This is another common misconception, though.
This misconception exists because we spend most of our lives unaware of what our minds are doing in the first place. Now that we are putting focused attention on them, we are getting a first-hand view of just how active (and, frankly, how crazy) the mind can be.
The benefits of mindfulness and meditation are numerous and well documented. You realize those benefits when you transfer the skills you develop while meditating to your "non-meditating time." Another way to say this is, you realize those benefits when you apply mindfulness.
Remember, we meditate so we can be mindful in our daily lives.
And, as you bring mindfulness to your daily life, you begin chipping away at a lifetime of conditioning. You become more and more aware of that voice in your head, and learn to distance yourself from it.
The space that you create allows you to break free from the control your mind holds over you. This, in turn, reduces your struggles and suffering, and allows you to make better decisions and take more skillful actions.
We update this guide often, so bookmark this page and check back in the future.
___
Are you stuck in a constant state of fight-or-flight, struggling with chronic stress and all the problems it causes?
Are you even aware of all the problems it causes?
If this sounds like you, read more about our newest program here.
Are you even aware of all the problems it causes?
If this sounds like you, read more about our newest program here.
>>>
Chances are you ended up reading this guide because it was recommended to you. If you found it helpful, please share it with someone in return. Feel free to copy the URL and post it elsewhere, or email it to a friend:
http://www.thetadprinciple.com/free-meditation-guide
You can also support us by making a small donation ($4 is the average, but any amount is appreciated).
Thank you for visiting!
Chances are you ended up reading this guide because it was recommended to you. If you found it helpful, please share it with someone in return. Feel free to copy the URL and post it elsewhere, or email it to a friend:
http://www.thetadprinciple.com/free-meditation-guide
You can also support us by making a small donation ($4 is the average, but any amount is appreciated).
Thank you for visiting!
