You spend most of your time lost in thought.
You go through your days held hostage by an inner narrative that comments on and judges everything - including you.
The rest of us are the same way, so don't take it personally. The bigger problem is, we usually go our entire lives without realizing it.
But, if you're reading this, you probably do realize it. And, you're probably wondering what you can do about it.
Steve Jacobson, Stamford, Connecticut, on "An owner's guide to the mind":
You go through your days held hostage by an inner narrative that comments on and judges everything - including you.
The rest of us are the same way, so don't take it personally. The bigger problem is, we usually go our entire lives without realizing it.
But, if you're reading this, you probably do realize it. And, you're probably wondering what you can do about it.
Steve Jacobson, Stamford, Connecticut, on "An owner's guide to the mind":
Straightforward, clear, and effective - it's like earning an advanced degree in the workings of your mind.
We all share many of the same struggles:
Most of us face one or more of these on a daily basis. And, most of us spend a lot of time trying to "cope" and find relief from them.
The problem is, these struggles are only symptoms. As such, we can spend a lifetime treating them to no avail. The self-help industry thrives by exploiting this fact: collectively, we spend over $10 billion a year trying to treat symptoms that always return.
It's like we're stuck on a treadmill, constantly trying to "fix" whatever comes our way. But, no matter what we do, things keep coming.
The only solution is to step off the treadmill; you do that by understanding and addressing the root cause of your struggles.
The root cause can be summed up in a simple sentence:
Who we are and what we do is dictated by a compulsive mind and non-stop thoughts.
Becoming aware of how the mind creates our struggles - and, learning to stop getting caught up in the stories that continuously run through our heads - is how we move beyond coping.
We wrote "An owner's guide to the mind" to help people do exactly that. Here's an excerpt from the section "What awareness teaches us":
>>>
Awareness is like a flashlight - it shines a beam on mental phenomena and allows us to see its true nature.
Namely, it allows us to see how thoughts come into being and exist, and how this is an impersonal process that we make personal.
What do we mean by "an impersonal process that we make personal?"
Most of us take ownership of thoughts and believe they are "ours." But, if they are truly ours, why would we continue thinking the thoughts that cause us to suffer? If we actually own them, wouldn't we stop the ones that lead to anger and anxiety? Or the ones that lead to sadness and stress? Wouldn't we only think thoughts that make us happy?
These questions are revealing. We generally believe we create thoughts and have the ability to control them. If pressed, however, most of us will admit we haven't quite figured out how to really control them just yet. Maybe we've tried forced positive thinking, repeating affirmations, "looking on the bright side," surrounding ourselves with positive influences, and/or ignoring or suppressing negative thinking.
While there is a lot of benefit in changing your perspective (looking on the bright side) and surrounding yourself with positive influences, if we do these things in an effort to control thought, they will not deliver lasting results. And, when the thoughts and emotions that cause us to suffer sneak back in, we tend to judge, berate, and beat ourselves up because of them.
Even so, we continue to operate under the delusion we can control them. We convince ourselves a failure to do so is because we haven't tried hard enough, or we haven't discovered "the secret." Maybe we'll figure it out tomorrow! And, of course, there's a multi-billion dollar self-help industry that's ready to assist with this problem, perpetuating the delusion you can control thoughts if you just read the right book or learn the right method!
There is a more skillful alternative, however. We can dispel the delusion that we "own" thoughts altogether. We can stop believing they are "mine."
The question, of course, is "How do I do that?"
The answer begins with understanding how thoughts come into being and exist.
<<<
You can view the entire table of contents by clicking the link below.
"An owner's guide to the mind" was first released in 2003. It combines concepts from Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (the precursor to cognitive behavior therapy) and Buddhist and Stoic philosophy. It's online and self-paced, and represents the culmination of almost two decades of research, writing, and working with people around the world.
It's also received a lot of recognition over the years, including currently being ranked #3 out of 25 in MobileMedia's personal development category.
But, more important, it has been called "life-changing" by the people who read and implement it.
Click here to view the table of contents.
Nicole Morris, Manchester, England:
- stress;
- endless worry;
- extreme emotions;
- an inability to break bad habits;
- feelings of anxiety and depression;
- a negative self-image;
- sleep problems;
- tension headaches;
- neck and back pain;
- a lack of focus;
- and on and on and on.
Most of us face one or more of these on a daily basis. And, most of us spend a lot of time trying to "cope" and find relief from them.
The problem is, these struggles are only symptoms. As such, we can spend a lifetime treating them to no avail. The self-help industry thrives by exploiting this fact: collectively, we spend over $10 billion a year trying to treat symptoms that always return.
It's like we're stuck on a treadmill, constantly trying to "fix" whatever comes our way. But, no matter what we do, things keep coming.
The only solution is to step off the treadmill; you do that by understanding and addressing the root cause of your struggles.
The root cause can be summed up in a simple sentence:
Who we are and what we do is dictated by a compulsive mind and non-stop thoughts.
Becoming aware of how the mind creates our struggles - and, learning to stop getting caught up in the stories that continuously run through our heads - is how we move beyond coping.
We wrote "An owner's guide to the mind" to help people do exactly that. Here's an excerpt from the section "What awareness teaches us":
>>>
Awareness is like a flashlight - it shines a beam on mental phenomena and allows us to see its true nature.
Namely, it allows us to see how thoughts come into being and exist, and how this is an impersonal process that we make personal.
What do we mean by "an impersonal process that we make personal?"
Most of us take ownership of thoughts and believe they are "ours." But, if they are truly ours, why would we continue thinking the thoughts that cause us to suffer? If we actually own them, wouldn't we stop the ones that lead to anger and anxiety? Or the ones that lead to sadness and stress? Wouldn't we only think thoughts that make us happy?
These questions are revealing. We generally believe we create thoughts and have the ability to control them. If pressed, however, most of us will admit we haven't quite figured out how to really control them just yet. Maybe we've tried forced positive thinking, repeating affirmations, "looking on the bright side," surrounding ourselves with positive influences, and/or ignoring or suppressing negative thinking.
While there is a lot of benefit in changing your perspective (looking on the bright side) and surrounding yourself with positive influences, if we do these things in an effort to control thought, they will not deliver lasting results. And, when the thoughts and emotions that cause us to suffer sneak back in, we tend to judge, berate, and beat ourselves up because of them.
Even so, we continue to operate under the delusion we can control them. We convince ourselves a failure to do so is because we haven't tried hard enough, or we haven't discovered "the secret." Maybe we'll figure it out tomorrow! And, of course, there's a multi-billion dollar self-help industry that's ready to assist with this problem, perpetuating the delusion you can control thoughts if you just read the right book or learn the right method!
There is a more skillful alternative, however. We can dispel the delusion that we "own" thoughts altogether. We can stop believing they are "mine."
The question, of course, is "How do I do that?"
The answer begins with understanding how thoughts come into being and exist.
<<<
You can view the entire table of contents by clicking the link below.
"An owner's guide to the mind" was first released in 2003. It combines concepts from Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (the precursor to cognitive behavior therapy) and Buddhist and Stoic philosophy. It's online and self-paced, and represents the culmination of almost two decades of research, writing, and working with people around the world.
It's also received a lot of recognition over the years, including currently being ranked #3 out of 25 in MobileMedia's personal development category.
But, more important, it has been called "life-changing" by the people who read and implement it.
Click here to view the table of contents.
Nicole Morris, Manchester, England:
You helped me stop struggling with thoughts and emotions which, in turn, allowed me to reduce stress and stop being controlled by anxiety. Thank you.
About us.
We've been teaching mindfulness and meditation for almost 20 years.
Since 2003,
We released "The T.A.D. Principle" over 15 years ago, and it has since evolved into meditationSHIFT and "An owner's guide to the mind."
We released "ARC: mindfulness for children" in 2015 (learn more).
We released our newest work - "Path to realization" - at the end of 2018 (learn more).
Click here to view the table of contents for "An owner's guide to the mind."
Thanks for visiting!
Since 2003,
- tens of thousands of people have read our books and taken our courses,
- our free guide to mindfulness and meditation has been shared on the Internet over half a million times, and
- we've published more than 100 articles on mindfulness, meditation, and related topics.
We released "The T.A.D. Principle" over 15 years ago, and it has since evolved into meditationSHIFT and "An owner's guide to the mind."
We released "ARC: mindfulness for children" in 2015 (learn more).
We released our newest work - "Path to realization" - at the end of 2018 (learn more).
Click here to view the table of contents for "An owner's guide to the mind."
Thanks for visiting!
