Let go or be dragged.

Last updated November, 2019.

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This is a follow up to our previous musing, "Five words that can change your life."

From Thich Thien-An:

"Happiness is something very beautiful, just like a butterfly. On warm summer days the butterfly darts back and forth above the green grass and the colourful flowers, looking very beautiful. But one must not try to catch it, for when the butterfly is caught in the hand, it becomes no more than just an insect...If we try to grasp happiness and hold on to it forever, it will die in our hands. We must let its beauty come and go and enjoy it while it lasts."

​In our previous musing, we encouraged you to take an honest assessment of your attachments. We discussed how attachments result from our desire to control an existence that is inherently uncontrollable. We ignore this fact, and attempt to create certainty and security amidst the changing nature of reality. As such, we continuously grasp or chase after the things we find pleasant, and push away or run from the things we find unpleasant.

But, these ongoing efforts to create certainty and security cause us to suffer more than the impermanence of our experience:

• We can't always be comfortable, and the futile attempt to force external circumstances to conform to our wishes only brings additional discomfort;
• Other people don't do what we want, and we become more upset over our unmet expectations than their actions (or lack of actions);
• The image we have of ourselves - who we are, what we will accomplish, how others should view us - is easily shattered by the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, a bad decision, or random misfortune. Clinging to an image of how we think our life should be and rejecting how it actually is causes us to live in fear and regret, and gives rise to feelings of anxiety and depression.

A wise man once said, 

"You aren't unhappy with the situation - you are unhappy because you want the situation to be different. You are attached to how you think it should be, and you can't move forward until you accept reality as it is."

If we don't let go of our attachments, we are dragged through a life of self-imposed suffering. We make ourselves into victims because things don't happen the way we want them to. We have a desire to control life, and when things don't go as planned we become frustrated, disappointed, resentful, angry - the list goes on and on.

How do you let go? As with everything we discuss, the key is awareness. 

• Become aware of your attachments (we listed some to get you started here). 
• Become aware of the suffering your attachments cause. Use the examples in the link above and apply them to your own.
• Become aware of the thoughts that give rise to - and reinforce - your attachments. Learn to notice them as they come into being, and realize you don't have to indulge them.

Developing a consistent meditation practice and bringing mindfulness to your daily life helps you strengthen awareness.

Stop getting caught up in the stories running through your head.

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