What does it mean to be in the present moment?

Last updated December, 2019.

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It's time for another installment of "Question and Answer Tuesdays!"

Brian writes:

"When you discuss mindfulness, you talk about the present moment. What does it mean to be in the present moment? Aren't we by default always in the present moment?" 

Yes, technically speaking, we are by default always in the present moment.

At least, your body is always in the present moment. The question is, where is your mind?

Your mind has a tendency to do one of three things:

1. It pulls you into the past to dwell on things you did or didn't do. This fuels stories that create regret, depression, and promote a negative self-image or lack of self-confidence. The mind likes to ruminate on things it cannot change (things that have already happened). It makes you second-guess yourself, and it tells you that you haven't accomplished enough, or you aren't as successful as you should be.
2. It projects you into the future to worry about things that might happen. It creates problems and scenarios that you mentally grapple with and respond to - even though many will never actually occur. Some of us spend a major part of our day thinking about what we would do (how we would react, what we would say) if "this" or "that" happened. This process creates fear, worry, and stress, and keeps you locked in a perpetual state of anxiety.
3. It creates an alternate reality. You daydream or fantasize about being a different person, or having a different situation in your life. Or maybe about a time in the future when everything will be "perfect" - you have the perfect job, the perfect car, the perfect partner, the perfect life.

There are several problems with not being present. First, you aren't focused on the task at hand. At least part of your attention (sometimes a major part) is focused on something that isn't actually happening. As a result, your time and energy are not being fully utilized here and now.

Second, you cause yourself to suffer. Some of the suffering is obvious: dwelling on the past leads to regret and depression, worrying about the future leads to stress and anxiety.

What about daydreaming and fantasizing, though? How is that bad? 

You are creating an alternate reality for yourself - a reality that you deem more desirable than your current situation. You are rejecting the present moment - but, at some point, you have to return to it. And when you do, you probably aren't going to be happy.

The bottom line is here and now is the only place you can ever experience life!

Watch yourself for the rest of the day and see where your mind takes you. Are you focused on the present moment? Or, are you in the past, future, or some alternate reality? 

The good news is, when you cultivate mindfulness (strengthen awareness) you ground yourself in the present moment. You spend less time regretting, worrying, and fearing. You spend less time filled with stress and anxiety. And, you focus your attention and efforts on what you are doing now: 

• If you are walking, walk;
• If you are eating, eat;
• If you are washing dishes, wash dishes;
• If you are playing with your dog, play with your dog.

Whatever you are doing, be completely present with it. 

The more time you spend in the present moment, the more you realize that happiness, peace, and contentment isn't something you find "out there." To the contrary, it's all right here and now. You just need lo learn to focus your attention on it, and quit getting caught up in the stories of your mind.

"Your inner narrative"

How do I just “let things be”?

“Your thoughts about the situation cause you to suffer more than the situation itself” — what does that even mean?

How do I get proper instruction in meditation and mindfulness?

“Your inner narrative” — our 15 day meditation challenge — answers all these questions (click here to read about it).