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You aren't unique (so, have some compassion for yourself).

6/23/2015

 
Last updated October, 2018.

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Many of us react defensively when we're told something can benefit us (you know, like strengthening awareness through mindfulness and meditation).

This defensiveness manifests in common objections:
  • ​"I'm different - my mind doesn't work like that."
  • "I have more thoughts than other people...they never stop."
  • "My anxiety [insert your condition here] is more severe - mindfulness and meditation won't help me."

This is a trap we all fall into.

Our minds work hard to convince us we're different:
  • our challenges are unique;
  • our struggles are tougher;
  • our thoughts and emotions are more prevalent.

​As a result, we often feel like we're alone on an island, overwhelmed by problems only we face.

This outlook - that we are unique and separate from everyone else - gives rise to self-judgment:
  • "Why do I always do that?"
  • "Why is this happening to me?"
  • "Why do others have it easier?"
  • "How did I end up here?"

If you are caught in this trap and you believe what your mind tells you, it will lead you into a pit of despair. You end up lamenting the past. You get lost in regrets about things you did - and didn't - do. And, you lose hope for (and worry endlessly about) the future.

It's a stressful way to live! But, what's the alternative?
​
Years ago, a wise man gave me some advice that had a profound effect on me. He told me

"We all experience the joys and sorrows of the world. Your own particular drama is pretty generic - don't take it too personally."

​Why is this important?

Because, compassion for others begins with compassion for ourselves. And, compassion for ourselves begins with the realization that we aren't the only ones suffering.

"But, I'm in therapy."
"I take medication."
"My boss is 'this,' and my family situation is 'that'."


None of this negates the fact that we all face similar struggles. Once you acknowledge this fact, you can stop believing your mind when it tells you "that won't work for me because I'm different." 

Or, when it tries to convince you that you need to cling tightly to some belief or crutch, and continue weathering the storm because "this is your lot in life."

It's not. So, stop indulging the self-judgment from that voice in your head. The good news is, a consistent meditation practice will help you do this.

You can't escape your mind...

Life seems to be a roller coaster of ups and downs. All of us are endlessly searching for happiness as we stumble from one problem to the next, trying to cope as best we can.

​Are you ready to do something different?

If so, we wrote "An owner's guide to the mind" for you. Click here to read more.
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