The following is a preview of "Your inner narrative" - our 15-day online program.
Day 1 - The root cause of your stress and struggles
We are continuously held hostage by the next thought that pops up. We spend most of our days like this - lost in mental drama, swept away by the voice in our heads, habitually reacting to the stories our minds are forever telling us. - meditationSHIFT
Average read time: around 5 minutes.
Your mind is always going. Thoughts, emotions, urges, stories - all of it takes the form of your inner narrative, which endlessly plays in your head. The same way my inner narrative endlessly plays in my head. The same way everyone else's inner narrative endlessly plays in their heads.
This inner narrative is filled with labels and judgment, and it comments on everyone and everything - including ourselves.
This inner narrative pulls us into the past to dwell on what's already taken place, or relive good times gone by, or second-guess all the things we've done...or haven't done.
This inner narrative pushes us into the future to worry about what might happen, or agonize over whether we'll find happiness, or fret about imaginary scenarios that rarely come to fruition.
And, when it’s not pulling us into the past or pushing us into the future, this inner narrative creates alternate realities - daydreams and fantasies - for us to get absorbed in.
We are constantly distracted by our inner narrative. And, living in this constantly-distracted state causes us to operate on autopilot. You and I are like puppets, and our minds are the puppeteers. Non-stop thoughts, emotions, urges, and stories are the strings that make us do the things we do and feel the way we feel.
"Operating on autopilot" is our normal state of being. The bigger problem is, most of us don’t realize it's our normal state of being. It takes a certain amount of awareness to recognize we are continuously caught up in our minds. And, most of us lack that baseline level of awareness (we certainly lack it with any consistency). Which means we’re usually oblivious to the discursive thinking that drags us through our days.
We are like fish who don't realize they're surrounded by water because they are always surrounded by water.
Your mind is always going. Thoughts, emotions, urges, stories - all of it takes the form of your inner narrative, which endlessly plays in your head. The same way my inner narrative endlessly plays in my head. The same way everyone else's inner narrative endlessly plays in their heads.
This inner narrative is filled with labels and judgment, and it comments on everyone and everything - including ourselves.
This inner narrative pulls us into the past to dwell on what's already taken place, or relive good times gone by, or second-guess all the things we've done...or haven't done.
This inner narrative pushes us into the future to worry about what might happen, or agonize over whether we'll find happiness, or fret about imaginary scenarios that rarely come to fruition.
And, when it’s not pulling us into the past or pushing us into the future, this inner narrative creates alternate realities - daydreams and fantasies - for us to get absorbed in.
We are constantly distracted by our inner narrative. And, living in this constantly-distracted state causes us to operate on autopilot. You and I are like puppets, and our minds are the puppeteers. Non-stop thoughts, emotions, urges, and stories are the strings that make us do the things we do and feel the way we feel.
"Operating on autopilot" is our normal state of being. The bigger problem is, most of us don’t realize it's our normal state of being. It takes a certain amount of awareness to recognize we are continuously caught up in our minds. And, most of us lack that baseline level of awareness (we certainly lack it with any consistency). Which means we’re usually oblivious to the discursive thinking that drags us through our days.
We are like fish who don't realize they're surrounded by water because they are always surrounded by water.
We don't realize we are living in this constantly-distracted state because we are almost always living in this constantly-distracted state. We don't realize we are lost in thoughts because we are almost always lost in thoughts.
This is the root cause of the stress and struggles we deal with every day.
The good news is, strengthening and applying awareness is the solution that addresses the root cause - and, meditation and mindfulness teach you how to strengthen and apply awareness. Over the next few days, we'll delve into what they are and how to practice. For today, however, we want you to make a concentrated effort to listen to the stories playing in your head, and watch where your mind is trying to take you in any given moment.
Is your mind telling you stories about the past, dwelling on or reliving something that already happened? Is it telling you stories about the future, planning or worrying about something that might happen? Is it inventing an alternate reality - a "mental play," if you will - where you can get lost in fantasies and daydreams?
You'll discover your mind is rarely comfortable with what's going on right here and now. So, where is it trying to take you in order to escape that discomfort?
Another thing to explore is whether your mind is wishing for things to be different than they are. To elaborate, what does your mind want changed...or, what does it want frozen in time so it doesn't change? What does your mind want to add to (or take away from) the present moment? Put another way, what does it want to "fix" about your current experience?
Or, maybe your mind is telling you that what you’re doing right now is boring, and "this" or "that" would be more exciting, more fun, or a better use of your time.
If you need help remembering to do this today, try setting a timer on your phone to go off at a regular interval (try every 30 minutes). When it goes off, ask some version of the questions above. For example,
In addition to the timer on your phone, there are other "mindfulness cues" you can use as a prompt:
That's it. Today, make a concentrated effort to listen to the stories playing in your head, and watch where your mind is trying to take you in any given moment.
Tomorrow we'll delve into the actual exercise of meditating.
This is the root cause of the stress and struggles we deal with every day.
The good news is, strengthening and applying awareness is the solution that addresses the root cause - and, meditation and mindfulness teach you how to strengthen and apply awareness. Over the next few days, we'll delve into what they are and how to practice. For today, however, we want you to make a concentrated effort to listen to the stories playing in your head, and watch where your mind is trying to take you in any given moment.
Is your mind telling you stories about the past, dwelling on or reliving something that already happened? Is it telling you stories about the future, planning or worrying about something that might happen? Is it inventing an alternate reality - a "mental play," if you will - where you can get lost in fantasies and daydreams?
You'll discover your mind is rarely comfortable with what's going on right here and now. So, where is it trying to take you in order to escape that discomfort?
Another thing to explore is whether your mind is wishing for things to be different than they are. To elaborate, what does your mind want changed...or, what does it want frozen in time so it doesn't change? What does your mind want to add to (or take away from) the present moment? Put another way, what does it want to "fix" about your current experience?
Or, maybe your mind is telling you that what you’re doing right now is boring, and "this" or "that" would be more exciting, more fun, or a better use of your time.
If you need help remembering to do this today, try setting a timer on your phone to go off at a regular interval (try every 30 minutes). When it goes off, ask some version of the questions above. For example,
- "What stories is my inner narrative telling me?"
- "Where is my mind taking me?"
- "What is my mind wishing was different than it is?"
- "What is my mind telling me I should be doing?"
In addition to the timer on your phone, there are other "mindfulness cues" you can use as a prompt:
- Put a post-it note on your computer monitor, bathroom mirror, or some other visible location. When you see it, stop what you're doing and ask the questions.
- Wear a rubber band around your wrist. When you notice it, stop what you're doing and ask the questions.
- Make a pen mark on the back of your hand. When you notice it, stop what you're doing and ask the questions.
That's it. Today, make a concentrated effort to listen to the stories playing in your head, and watch where your mind is trying to take you in any given moment.
Tomorrow we'll delve into the actual exercise of meditating.
