The following is a preview of "Your inner narrative" - our 15-day self-study course.
Day 1 - The root cause of your struggles
We are continuously held hostage by the next thought that pops into our heads. We spend most of our days like this - lost in mental activity, swept away by emotions, habitually reacting to the stories our minds are forever telling us. - meditationSHIFT
Average read time: around 6 minutes.
Our minds are always going.
Thoughts, emotions, urges, stories – all of it takes the form of your inner narrative, which constantly plays in your head. The same way my inner narrative constantly plays in my head. The same way everyone else's inner narrative constantly plays in their heads.
This inner narrative comments on everyone and everything, including ourselves. It’s filled with labels and judgment. And, it does one thing really well: it distracts us from what’s happening right here and now.
It pulls us into the past to dwell on things that have already taken place. Or, to relive times gone by. Or, to second-guess what we’ve done (or haven’t done).
It pushes us into the future to worry about what might happen. Or, stress about whether we’ll ever make anything of ourselves ("Will I be as successful as Mary?" "Will I have as much stuff as Bob?"). Or, endlessly fret about imaginary scenarios it invents ("What would I do if 'this' happened?" "What would I say if 'that' happened?").
Realize the folly: our minds ruminate on the past, or they create a future "something" that hasn't happened and isn't real. As a result, we get anxious, depressed, or suffer in some other way. We’re like actors in a play, unwittingly participating in staged scenes.
And, when it’s not pulling us into the past or pushing us into the future, our minds create alternate realities – daydreams and fantasies – for us to get absorbed in.
Living in this constantly-distracted state leads to the struggles we deal with every day:
Why does being constantly distracted lead to these struggles? Because, it causes us to operate on "autopilot." You and I are like puppets, and our minds are the puppeteers. Non-stop thoughts, emotions, urges, and stories are the strings that make us do the things we do...and, feel the way we feel.
Being constantly distracted is our normal state of being. The problem is, most of us don’t realize it's our normal state of being. It takes a certain amount of awareness to recognize we are continuously caught up in the activity of our minds. And, most of us lack this baseline level of awareness - we certainly lack it with any consistency. Which means we’re usually oblivious to the discursive thinking that drags us through our days.
We are like fish who don't realize they are surrounded by water because they are always surrounded by water.
Our minds are always going.
Thoughts, emotions, urges, stories – all of it takes the form of your inner narrative, which constantly plays in your head. The same way my inner narrative constantly plays in my head. The same way everyone else's inner narrative constantly plays in their heads.
This inner narrative comments on everyone and everything, including ourselves. It’s filled with labels and judgment. And, it does one thing really well: it distracts us from what’s happening right here and now.
It pulls us into the past to dwell on things that have already taken place. Or, to relive times gone by. Or, to second-guess what we’ve done (or haven’t done).
It pushes us into the future to worry about what might happen. Or, stress about whether we’ll ever make anything of ourselves ("Will I be as successful as Mary?" "Will I have as much stuff as Bob?"). Or, endlessly fret about imaginary scenarios it invents ("What would I do if 'this' happened?" "What would I say if 'that' happened?").
Realize the folly: our minds ruminate on the past, or they create a future "something" that hasn't happened and isn't real. As a result, we get anxious, depressed, or suffer in some other way. We’re like actors in a play, unwittingly participating in staged scenes.
And, when it’s not pulling us into the past or pushing us into the future, our minds create alternate realities – daydreams and fantasies – for us to get absorbed in.
Living in this constantly-distracted state leads to the struggles we deal with every day:
- stress
- endless worry
- extreme emotions
- a lack of focus
- an inability to break bad habits
- feelings of anxiety and depression
- a negative self-image
- sleep problems
- tension headaches
- chronic pain, especially in the neck, shoulders, and back
- and on and on...
Why does being constantly distracted lead to these struggles? Because, it causes us to operate on "autopilot." You and I are like puppets, and our minds are the puppeteers. Non-stop thoughts, emotions, urges, and stories are the strings that make us do the things we do...and, feel the way we feel.
Being constantly distracted is our normal state of being. The problem is, most of us don’t realize it's our normal state of being. It takes a certain amount of awareness to recognize we are continuously caught up in the activity of our minds. And, most of us lack this baseline level of awareness - we certainly lack it with any consistency. Which means we’re usually oblivious to the discursive thinking that drags us through our days.
We are like fish who don't realize they are surrounded by water because they are always surrounded by water.
We don't realize we are living in this constantly-distracted state because we are almost always living in this constantly-distracted state. We don't realize we are lost in thoughts because we are almost always lost in thoughts.
There is good news when it comes to the struggles we face every day: strengthening and applying awareness addresses all of them. There isn't one solution to be "less distracted," another to reduce stress, and another to help with feelings of anxiety and depression. There isn't a different solution for breaking bad habits (or instilling good habits), another for developing a better self-image, and another for dealing with the voice in your head, easing tension, and sleeping better.
The root cause of all the struggles we deal with every day is our compulsive mind. And, strengthening and applying awareness is the solution that addresses the root cause.
How do you strengthen and apply awareness? Meditation and mindfulness. We'll delve into what they are and how to practice over the next few days. Today, we want you to spend some time listening to what your inner narrative is telling you, and watching where your mind is trying to take you in any given moment.
What stories are playing in your head when you stop and listen? Are they stories about the past, dwelling on or reliving something that already happened? Are they stories about the future, planning or worrying about something that might happen – or, participating in a "mental play"? Are they stories about an alternate reality where you can escape the present moment and get lost in fantasies and daydreams?
Your mind is rarely comfortable with what's going on in the present moment. So, where is it trying to take you in order to escape that discomfort?
Another way to explore this is to look and see if your mind is wishing for things to be different than they are. If it is - and, it almost always is - then it's distracting you from right here and now and taking you to the past, future, or an alternate reality. The end result will be more struggles.
If you need help with this exercise, try setting a timer on your phone to go off at a regular interval (for example, every 30 minutes). When it goes off, ask "What stories is my inner narrative telling me?" and "Where is my mind taking me?"
Or, if you prefer, ask "What is my mind wishing to be different than it is?"
To elaborate, what does your mind want changed, or what does it want frozen in time so it doesn't change? What does your mind want to add to or take away from the present moment? Put another way, what does it want to "fix" about your current experience?
Or, is your mind telling you that what you’re doing right now is boring, and "this" or "that" would be more exciting, fun, or a better use of your time?
In addition to the timer on your phone, there are other "mindfulness cues" you can use as a prompt:
That's it. Today, just make the effort to look and ask the questions. Start becoming aware of your inner narrative, the stories playing in your head, and where your mind is trying to take you in any given moment.
Tomorrow we'll delve into the actual exercise of meditating.
There is good news when it comes to the struggles we face every day: strengthening and applying awareness addresses all of them. There isn't one solution to be "less distracted," another to reduce stress, and another to help with feelings of anxiety and depression. There isn't a different solution for breaking bad habits (or instilling good habits), another for developing a better self-image, and another for dealing with the voice in your head, easing tension, and sleeping better.
The root cause of all the struggles we deal with every day is our compulsive mind. And, strengthening and applying awareness is the solution that addresses the root cause.
How do you strengthen and apply awareness? Meditation and mindfulness. We'll delve into what they are and how to practice over the next few days. Today, we want you to spend some time listening to what your inner narrative is telling you, and watching where your mind is trying to take you in any given moment.
What stories are playing in your head when you stop and listen? Are they stories about the past, dwelling on or reliving something that already happened? Are they stories about the future, planning or worrying about something that might happen – or, participating in a "mental play"? Are they stories about an alternate reality where you can escape the present moment and get lost in fantasies and daydreams?
Your mind is rarely comfortable with what's going on in the present moment. So, where is it trying to take you in order to escape that discomfort?
Another way to explore this is to look and see if your mind is wishing for things to be different than they are. If it is - and, it almost always is - then it's distracting you from right here and now and taking you to the past, future, or an alternate reality. The end result will be more struggles.
If you need help with this exercise, try setting a timer on your phone to go off at a regular interval (for example, every 30 minutes). When it goes off, ask "What stories is my inner narrative telling me?" and "Where is my mind taking me?"
Or, if you prefer, ask "What is my mind wishing to be different than it is?"
To elaborate, what does your mind want changed, or what does it want frozen in time so it doesn't change? What does your mind want to add to or take away from the present moment? Put another way, what does it want to "fix" about your current experience?
Or, is your mind telling you that what you’re doing right now is boring, and "this" or "that" would be more exciting, fun, or a better use of your time?
In addition to the timer on your phone, there are other "mindfulness cues" you can use as a prompt:
- Put a post-it note on your computer monitor, bathroom mirror, or some other visible location. When you see it, stop what you're doing and ask the questions above.
- Wear a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you look at it, stop what you're doing and ask the questions above.
- Make a pen mark on the back of your hand. When you notice it, stop what you're doing and ask the questions above.
That's it. Today, just make the effort to look and ask the questions. Start becoming aware of your inner narrative, the stories playing in your head, and where your mind is trying to take you in any given moment.
Tomorrow we'll delve into the actual exercise of meditating.
Did Day 1 resonate with you?
