Thanks for visiting - 2023 marks our 20th anniversary! This site is ad-free and supported by sales of our online courses. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the bottom of the page and read Day 1 of "Your inner narrative" to see if it's right for you...no email required. That person pissed me off!We've all been in situations where someone or something made us angry. For example, someone cuts you off in traffic. What do you do? Reactions range from saying something under your breath, to yelling, honking, and making rude hand gestures. The issue is, how you react might affect your state of being for some time. You can probably recall a situation that caused you to become caught up in thoughts and emotions, leading to a reaction that subsequently dictated your mood for hours. Maybe it ended up ruining your entire day! When you reflect on it, you can ask yourself "Did I really have a bad day, or a few bad moments that I dwelled on for the entire day?" More often than not, it's the latter. But, figuring that out after the fact doesn't help a lot. Back to our example - someone cutting you off in traffic may result in the following:
Examples aren't relegated to road rage - daily life is full of them. Maybe a significant other, friend, or acquaintance said something that "rubbed you the wrong way." Or, perhaps someone was purposefully rude to you. Maybe you were treated unfairly by a co-worker or random stranger! We all encounter these situations on a regular basis. And, much to our own detriment, most of us let them affect our outlook on life more than (and, longer than) we should. We let them influence our communication with others, our decisions and actions, our productivity, and - ultimately - our happiness and well-being. The ironic thing is, the person who cut you off in traffic, was rude to you, or said something that offended you will usually go about THEIR day oblivious to the fact that they are controlling everything about YOUR day. Reacting vs. respondingReacting is when you let thoughts and emotions take over, and you get lost in the compulsive mental activity that ensues. This results in the common cliches:
It's the easy path, and there is always someone (or something) to blame for your behavior: "I acted that way because I was pissed about what happened to me earlier!" Responding, on the other hand, means we take action to address what can be addressed. Once we do this, we let go and move on. For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, take appropriate action to ensure you're not going to have an accident. When you are sure you're safe, let go of the mental drama - let go of the stories your mind is churning out - and move on with your day. Don't carry around the burden of irritation and anger, because that burden only affects you - it does nothing to the person you are irritated or angry at. Think about this for a minute: you are mad at someone else, but you adopt a state of being (outlook, behavior, actions) that only affects you and makes your life (and the lives of those around you) more difficult. If you fully understand and internalize this, you realize it's insanity to continue functioning this way. An easy way to remember the distinction between reacting and responding is to think about your doctor prescribing medication to you:
Responding isn't the easiest path. To respond, you have to reverse a lifetime of conditioning that culminates in habitual actions and reactions. Alright - how do I do it then?How do you avoid getting lost in thoughts and emotions? How do you keep from dwelling on situations, and letting them affect you long after they happen? How do you just "let go" and move on? You do so by strengthening awareness of thoughts, emotions, and urges as they start to arise. This process is known as mindfulness - it comes from developing the skill of observing your mind and its activity without getting caught up in it. How do you develop this skill? Through the dedicated exercise of meditating. Together, mindfulness and meditation help you avoid the conditioned behavior you've historically been victim to. They allow you to create space between the situation, and thoughts and emotions about the situation. This space is what you need in order to respond appropriately (as opposed to reacting mindlessly). As Viktor Frankl said, Between the stimulus and the response there is a space, and in this space lies our power and freedom. It isn't a transformation that happens instantly - as mentioned above, you are reversing a lifetime of conditioning. And, it requires effort on your part. If you put forth that effort, however, the results can be life-changing. In addition to helping you respond instead of react, mindfulness and meditation address the struggles we all deal with every day:
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Our minds constantly create stories about what we experience, and we spend most of our time caught up in those stories. This results in the stress and struggles of daily life. "Your inner narrative" (our 15-day online course) can help you break that pattern. Read Day 1 here (no email required). Last updated October, 2019. Before you scroll down...we keep this site ad-free for our readers. If you get value from what we write, click here to learn about our 15-day meditation challenge, "Your inner narrative". Happiness is elusive. Or, it might be more accurate to say, consistent happiness is elusive. We stumble on it now and again, but life is a series of peaks and valleys - it seems any happiness we find is fleeting. Maybe we're looking to the wrong things? Most of us tend to think that changes to external circumstances will bring us internal happiness (and peace, and contentment). Getting a new job, a new partner, a new "toy" or gadget. Or, moving to a new location. That's what will finally do it! This thinking is reflected in the old adage represented above: "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." But, when you reach the other side of the fence, the grass seems to be greener somewhere else. Perhaps even back on the side you originally came from! By searching for happiness "out there" - in the next promotion or position, the next city or house, the next car, the latest smartphone, the next relationship - you may find some satisfaction, but it never lasts:
And, when the satisfaction disappears, you go back to searching for the next thing to make you happy. It's a vicious cycle which only serves to prove if your happiness depends on something external happening, you will never achieve it. This bears repeating: If your happiness depends on something external happening, you will never achieve it. Why? Because there will always be something else external that needs to happen - it's a trap of the mind! Your happiness gets lost in "If only...":
But, external circumstances do not produce happiness, they merely trigger it. By strengthening awareness* of your mind and its activity, you come to see it runs you through a never-ending gauntlet of "If only" scenarios. You see how it constantly promises you that happiness is somewhere just over the horizon, and it will be yours once you achieve "this" or acquire "that." Awareness also teaches you that the trigger for happiness is something you can control internally. And, once you realize this, the "seeking trap" dies. Your happiness is no longer dependent on something from the shelf in a store (or something you order online), or the approval of another person. To the contrary, true happiness is cultivated from within, right here and now. This understanding brings another positive side effect: when external circumstances don't go the way you want, they no longer have the same effect on your internal happiness. Consider the ocean. The surface may be in turmoil due to storms and rough waves. But, deep down below the surface, it's calm and serene. As you strengthen awareness, the same applies to you - the turmoil on the surface (external circumstances) does not affect the conditions deep down (internal happiness). Your happiness is within your reach - you just have to quit putting other things between you and it. *How do you strengthen awareness? Through a consistent meditation practice. We have a free guide here. What's next?Common questions we're asked:
Our 15-day meditation challenge - "Your inner narrative" - answers these questions and more. Thanks for visiting - 2023 marks our 20th anniversary! This site is ad-free and supported by sales of our online courses. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the bottom of the page and read Day 1 of "Your inner narrative" to see if it's right for you...no email required. We received another question from a participant in our challenge, and felt it worthy of its own post. It may be shorter than usual, but hopefully you'll find it insightful. The question: "I am told I have a 'short fuse' and I'm quick to jump to conclusions. I understand being aware of your thoughts, but I'm not sure I understand how being aware of my thoughts really does anything for me when it comes to this problem. Does it, and if so can you explain?" This quote from Bhante Henepola Gunaratana provides some insight into the above question: Mindfulness gives you time. Time gives you choices. Choices, skillfully made, lead to freedom. You don't have to be swept away by your feeling. You can respond with wisdom and kindness rather than habit and reactivity. Right now, you are conditioned to act certain ways in certain situations. If that person does "X," you do "Y." That other person - if they do "A," you do "B." Your spouse or your children? If they do "this," you do "that." Experience (what happens in and around us) gives rise to feelings, and feelings give rise to intentions. This is all aided and abetted by thoughts and emotions. And, it results in conditioned behavior and habitual actions and reactions. Without awareness, this process is somewhat automatic, and culminates in the struggles and suffering we deal with daily (i.e., stress, anxiety, emotional turmoil, etc.). Someone cuts you off in traffic? You find it unpleasant and lash out. Maybe you honk your horn. Maybe you make an obscene gesture or curse them under your breath. You might escalate the situation into a confrontation. Or, you might carry around the anger for the next few hours and let it affect your day (how you feel, how you interact with others, etc.). Sometimes you are able to stop yourself from getting caught up in this process. Most of the time, however, it unfolds without a lot of input from you: experience, feelings, intentions, thoughts and emotions, actions and reactions, emotional turmoil. With awareness, however, you learn to see the process unfold more clearly. You can slow it down, and mindfully examine it: "Here is a situation, here are feelings about it, here's what those feelings normally lead to: will it be beneficial to me if I go down that same old path? What will the result be if I take the bait my mind is dangling? Maybe I can do something different. Is there more skillful actions I can take...is there a better way to handle things? Can I 'let it be as it is,' and move on with my day? Can I let thoughts and emotions pass (the same as they came), and not get caught up in them?" Awareness helps you realize your actions and reactions don't have to be automatic. Instead, you can create S - P - A - C - E. And, this space allows you to see you don't have to be at the mercy of the next feeling or thought, emotion, and urge that pops into your head. This is how your break out of conditioned behavior and habitual actions and reactions. This is how you learn to respond instead of react. How do you strengthen awareness? Through a consistent meditation practice. If you're ready to learn, we have a free guide that's been shared over a million times - the link is at the bottom of the page, and no email is required. <>
Our minds constantly create stories about what we experience, and we spend most of our time caught up in those stories. This results in the stress and struggles of daily life. "Your inner narrative" (our 15-day online course) can help you break that pattern. Read Day 1 here (no email required). Thanks for visiting - 2023 marks our 20th anniversary! This site is ad-free and supported by sales of our online courses. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the bottom of the page and read Day 1 of "Your inner narrative" to see if it's right for you...no email required. One of our course participants, Dawn, asks the following question: "I constantly have thoughts of inadequacy. What is the best way to deal with them?" I'll start with a quote from Aristotle: It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. That quote is relevant to Dawn's question. But, I would change it a bit: It is the mark of a liberated (or enlightened) person to entertain a thought without identifying with it. Consider some of your recent thoughts of inadequacy - for simplicity, here are a few we all have at one time or another:
These could be in regard to a relationship, a task, a job, et cetera. What makes them so powerful? They are powerful because we identify with them. We believe "this is who I am":
We indulge these thoughts, and build stories around them. These stories take the form of an inner narrative that constantly plays in our head, perpetuating more thoughts and emotions, all revolving around the belief "this is who I am". It becomes a vicious cycle that can bury us in a landslide of mental noise...in this case, about how inadequate we are! Refer back to our examples above. You can take the path of trying to resist these thoughts. Maybe you work to convince yourself that you are good enough, that you aren't a failure, that you are deserving. Maybe you try to silence them through sheer willpower, constantly repeating to yourself:
Or, you can take the path of accepting these thoughts as true, and end up wallowing in self-doubt. They will become ingrained, and cause you to develop and reinforce a negative self-image...which only serves to sabotage your longer-term happiness and well-being. Regardless of which path you take, you are still identifying with thoughts. Whether you believe them to be true or false, "identifying" leads to self-imposed suffering. It conditions your behavior, and leads to habitual actions and reactions. The good news is, there's a better way to deal with thoughts. That better way is to recognize they are simply thoughts, and to understand they hold power over you only because you view them as personal and permanent. And, you can change this "personal and permanent" view. You can learn to observe thoughts without getting caught up in them. You can see thoughts for what they truly are: temporary phenomena that come and go (arise and pass). When you understand their temporary nature through direct experience, it's easier to stop identifying with them, and to stop chasing after what you consider "pleasant" and running away from what you consider "unpleasant." As you practice this, you will eventually learn to say "There are those thoughts again. I'm watching them come (arise), and I won't indulge them. I choose to move my attention away from them, and let them be as they are until they go (pass)." Is it really that simple? Yes, it is. Your attention causes thoughts to persist - when you indulge them, they become "sticky" and give rise to more thoughts. But, when you move your attention away from them, they will go the same as they came. They may return, but you just repeat this process again. Eventually, without your attention to energize them, they will stop being as persistent. This is the basis for mindfulness and meditation. While simple, it does take consistent practice. And, that's the problem for most people: consistent practice takes time and effort. And time and effort is, well, time and effort. We procrastinate. We forget. We prioritize other things ahead of it. We get comfortable in our suffering, and decide to accept the status quo. There's no "magic pill" to get you to take action. You simply have to make the decision to start doing it. If you decide to start, you'll find the effort is worth it. In fact, it's one of the most important things you can do for your happiness and well-being. So, decide now. Get started. Go do it! Your thoughts are as transient as the clouds in the sky - learn to watch them float by. You don't have to attach to them. You don't have to build a story around them. You don't have to identify with them. You don't have to follow your mind wherever it leads. If there is any "secret" to life, this is it! But, most people won't accept it. It's too simple. And, if they do accept it, they won't practice - they won't put in the time and effort. Don't be like most people! Addendum to the original article: Many readers asked about thoughts of superiority as opposed to thoughts of inadequacy. These are two sides of the same coin. Some examples:
Identifying with them ("this is who I am") leads to conditioned behavior, and habitual actions and reactions. As we see time and again, thoughts of superiority can cause actions that are detrimental to yourself and others. Not to mention if (when?) those thoughts are contradicted by reality, the resulting crash can be devastating. <>
Our minds constantly create stories about what we experience, and we spend most of our time caught up in those stories. This results in the stress and struggles of daily life. "Your inner narrative" (our 15-day online course) can help you break that pattern. Read Day 1 here (no email required). 2023 marks our 20th anniversary - thank you for reading what we write! We keep this site ad-free - if you get value from it, click the link at the end of the article and read Day 1 of our 15-day self-study course to see if it's right for you. < I recently attended a concert and was amazed at the sight of a sea of smartphones being held high in the air recording the event. Reflect on the irony of going to a live show and recording it on your phone for later. Instead of enjoying the present moment and what is happening before your eyes, you are focused on capturing it to watch at some point "in the future." The price we pay for trying to capture these moments for future reference is the absence of enjoying the moment as it happens right now. Technology is a wonderful thing, but we can use it for not-so-wonderful purposes. I'm not trying to discourage you from capturing moments at important occasions. But, we do more than that: we try to "freeze" events for later instead of enjoying events as they occur. And, more often, we use technology to escape what's happening here and now. For example, have you looked around a busy restaurant lately? You see people sitting together, but not spending time together. They are on their phones texting, playing games, looking at social media, or browsing the web. It seems all of us spend a lot of time somewhere other than where we actually are. Why? Because we are lost in our minds, and our minds compulsively lead us around. They constantly churn out thoughts, emotions, and stories. They are never content with "here and now," and pull our attention into the past, push it into the future, or create an alternate reality (fantasy) to mentally visit. Some examples:
In short, you are physically in one place but your mind takes you to another place. And, this happens all the time - we just aren't aware of it because it's our natural state of being (i.e., we aren't aware of it because it happens all the time!). And, if we encounter moments of silence, we call them "awkward." They are uncomfortable, and we want to fill that silence with something. Anything! The world around us is happy to oblige. We are constantly bombarded with stimuli: the next post, tweet, or picture...on-demand radio and television, games, ads, websites, storefronts. The list goes on and on, as we're inundated with sights, sounds, smells...and our attention jumps from one "shiny object" to another (to another, to another). Taking all of this into consideration, it should come as no surprise that when you identify with your mind, you are constantly restless. You are uncomfortable in the present moment, you are uncomfortable with silence, and you always want to be doing something other than what you are actually doing. As a result, you have an ongoing struggle with things like stress, feelings of anxiety and depression, problems focusing and being productive, a negative self-image, et cetera. What's the solution to this problem? Strengthen awareness of your mind and mental activity. Recognize how it captures your attention, and pushes and pulls you around. How do you do that? Sit down and focus your attention on your breath - breathe in and breathe out, and when you notice that your attention has wandered, simply return it to your breath. Notice and return, over and over again. This is the essence of mindfulness and meditation, and consistently doing this exercise will start you down the path of observing what happens without getting caught up in it (without getting swept away by it). You will come to see thoughts aren't permanent - they arise and pass. And they aren't "you," because you can watch them as they arise and pass. Emotions arise and pass, too. And, what about that voice in your head that comments on and judges everything and everyone (including you!)? It arises and passes. All of this can be observed. And, the better you get at observing it, the more you learn you don't have to indulge it. As such, you are able to start chipping away at the conditioned behavior you've been held hostage by, and the habitual actions (and reactions) that result. In addition to strengthening awareness, make an effort to step away from the technology - even if it's just for small amounts of time. Put the phone on silent, turn off the monitor, close the laptop; spend a few minutes enjoying your surroundings and the present moment. Go for a walk and leave your devices at home. Most of all, enjoy now NOW. note: if this article resonated with you, you'll probably like this short video: <>
Explore more: "Your inner narrative" - read Day 1 of our 15-day self-study course, and learn to stop getting caught up in the stories your mind creates. And, if you're looking for our free guide, you can find it here. Thanks for visiting - 2023 marks our 20th anniversary! This site is ad-free and supported by sales of our online courses. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the bottom of the page and read Day 1 of "Your inner narrative" to see if it's right for you...no email required. Here is the most common misconception we hear in regard to meditating: "I've tried to meditate, but I can't stop thinking! It's so frustrating, so I gave up. My mind is just too busy." The second most common misconception we hear is "I've tried to control my thoughts, but I can't do it. I try to force myself to be positive, but it's frustrating because no matter how hard I try, negative thoughts creep in." These misconceptions become objections. Objections become reasons to stop meditating. And, another person ends up saying "I tried to meditate, but it doesn't work for me." Addressing the misconceptionsFirst, you can't stop thinking. Do you disagree? If so, take the next 30 seconds and try to do it. Go! [30 second pause] How did it go? Here's how it usually goes for me:
When doing this exercise, people often think "I'm doing it - I'm not thinking!" before realizing this is, of course, a thought. Next, you can't control your thoughts. If you believe you can control your thoughts, what is your next one going to be? And the one after that? And the one after that? Thoughts arise and pass. At times, they appear to fit the context of your current surroundings and situation. Much of the time, however, they don't - something just randomly pops into your head. Regardless, we have little insight into all of the causes and conditions that bring any particular thought into existence, whether it's relevant to what's going on around us or not. Which brings us to the fact that you can't "force" yourself to eliminate thoughts. All of us have tried to. We label certain thoughts as negative or bad, and exercise willpower to banish them when they pop up. But, that proves the point - those thoughts still pop up! So, maybe we try to force ourselves to only think what we label positive or good thoughts. The common advice of "You have to think positive!" will only serve to frustrate you when negative thoughts sneak back in. Not to mention, if you deliberately try and eliminate certain thoughts, you will actually think about them more. Don't confuse what I'm saying - all else being equal, you do want to surround yourself with positive influences and consume material that will help you make better decisions, take better actions, and live a better life. And, there's nothing wrong with redirecting unskillful thoughts to skillful thoughts after you become aware of them. The point is, don't waste your time and energy on the fruitless effort of trying to stop or control thoughts. Which brings us back to meditation - if it's not stopping or controlling thoughts, what is it? Why I meditate - and, why you should tooMeditation strengthens your awareness - it allows you to observe your mind and its non-stop activity without getting caught up in it. Instead of identifying with your mind and turning thoughts and emotions into "your story," it teaches you to move your attention away from the mental noise and let it be as it is. This is commonly referred to as "letting thoughts and emotions pass." As you strengthen awareness and get better at controlling the focus of your attention, you are able to start chipping away at the conditioned behavior that leads to the daily struggles we all face (stress, feelings of anxiety and depression, problems with focus and productivity...). As an example, you've no doubt had anxiety about something (or many things) in your life. Meditation will not make anxiety magically disappear. What it will do is allow you to change your relationship with it, and - as a result - reduce (and, oftentimes eliminate) the impact. When the anxiety comes, you recognize it:
Notice it as it arises. Be aware of the thoughts, emotions, and sensations - this act of "being aware" helps you break identification with the mental activity. Realize you don't have to get caught up in the "mental drama" - instead, move your attention away from it and focus on the present moment. Your mind will try to convince you that the drama it creates is urgent and critical, and in many cases a matter of "life or death." It will try to pull your attention back in. Through meditation, however, you learn you no longer have to take the bait. Notice, and move your attention away. That's the key to liberation. Is it uncomfortable? Sure - especially at first. But that's okay. You can sit with that discomfort, and it will pass too. I use the analogy "like clouds in the sky" every day because it's easy to visualize. The thoughts come, as do the emotions they give rise to. And the same way it all comes, it all goes. Like clouds drifting from one side of the sky to the other. The mental drama is not urgent. It's not permanent. You don't have to believe your mind when it tries to convince you otherwise. At this point, we usually hear "But, MY anxiety is different. It's much worse. I can't just watch it come and go." Yes, you can. Nothing changes in an instant - you are reversing a lifetime of conditioning, and it takes consistent effort. Some attempts will work better than others. But, don't judge yourself - just continue the process. Take the first step, and then the next step, and then the next step... <>
Our minds constantly create stories about what we experience, and we spend most of our time caught up in those stories. This results in the stress and struggles of daily life. "Your inner narrative" (our 15-day online course) can help you break that pattern. Read Day 1 here (no email required). Last updated October, 2018. note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required). Recently we posted a story on Facebook, and we wanted to elaborate here. note - if you haven't already done so, please "Like" us on Facebook - there are many years of posts you might find beneficial. Here's the story: >>> The Buddha once asked a student, “If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful?” The student replied, “It is." The Buddha then asked, “If the person is struck by a second arrow, is that even more painful?” The student replied again, “It is." The Buddha then explained, “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.” <<< The Buddha was describing different types of suffering. The first arrow affects all of us by virtue of the fact that we are born. If you are reading this, it's safe to say you were born, and you will experience the "pain" of life that is growing old and dying. This type of suffering is unavoidable. It happens to all of us. We can have a good attitude about it, and we can make peace with it. But, we cannot avoid it. We all have a body that - if we are fortunate - will take us to old age. However, with growing old comes illness and a general "wearing out." And, ultimately (of course) death. The second arrow the Buddha discusses is describing another type of suffering. This suffering results from our thoughts and emotions, and an inner narrative that constantly comments on - and judges - everything and everyone (including ourselves!). We get lost in the stories running through our heads. We build a "sense of self," and constantly have to protect it from perceived attacks. We have expectations that usually aren't met, causing us to become upset, depressed, angry, or offended. We find ourselves on an endless search for happiness, forever trying to arrange our lives so we're surrounded by everything we like and want (and, protected from everything we don't like and don't want). This second arrow is fueled by our compulsive minds, and the pain that results is constant and pervasive. We can do something about this arrow, however. By strengthening awareness, we can learn to see thoughts, emotions, and stories for what they are: not permanent. We can notice this "mental noise" as it comes and goes: if we don't interfere with it, it passes like clouds in the sky. By watching it come into being, exist, and cease, we directly experience its ephemeral nature. And, through this direct experience, we can learn to stop getting caught up in all of it (to stop getting attached to all of it). How do we strengthen awareness? Through a consistent meditation practice. And, as we bring this awareness to our daily activities, we find it allows us to react less and less to the drama of our minds. We find we can better deal with stress and anxiety. And, even in the midst of anger and irritation, we find our decisions and actions are more skillful. So, while the first arrow is simply the nature of reality, the second arrow is our own creation. The good news is, we can be liberated from the second arrow! We don't have to follow our minds wherever they lead, or be a victim to the suffering they create. Stop dealing with the symptoms.Stress, anxiety, self-confidence issues, the inability to stop bad habits, problems with sleep and focus, and on and on and on.
These and the other things we struggle with every day are only symptoms. The good news is, they all share the same root cause. The bad news is, if you don't address that root cause, the symptoms will keep coming back no matter what you do. That's why we wrote "An owner's guide to the mind." For almost 20 years, people have been using it to address the root cause of their daily struggles. Click here to view the contents and learn more. Last updated October, 2019. Before you scroll down...we keep this site ad-free for our readers. If you get value from what we write, please consider supporting us by checking out the overview for our best-selling work, "An owner's guide to the mind". There is a famous quote that is attributed to many different people. Here's a version of it: Watch your thoughts - they become your words. Watch your words - they become your actions. Watch your actions - they become your destiny. The first line of the quote is meaningful in the context of mindfulness and meditation. The key word is "watch." You can't control thoughts, contrary to the myriad of self-help books written over the past 100+ years. And, you can't "force" yourself to stop thinking. Many people believe these to be the goals of meditation - and, once they realize the futility of trying to do either, they get frustrated and give up the practice. But, you can watch thoughts. You can see how they are weaved together into stories, and how these stories constantly run through your head in the form of an inner narrative. Right now, because you are so identified with this inner narrative, you tend to believe it's reality - you get caught up in everything it tells you:
Those thoughts and the emotions that follow give rise to more thoughts and emotions - which, in turn, give rise to more thoughts and emotions. This process can easily bury you in a landslide of mental noise (mental drama) that makes you
All of it shapes your words, decisions, and actions/reactions. Watch your thoughts - they become your words. Watch your words - they become your actions. Watch your actions - they become your destiny. From thoughts to decisions to actions, it's easy to see how this process affects the way you live your life. And, how your life ultimately turns out (i.e., your "destiny"). This process creates a vicious cycle because the end result - the way you live your life - feeds back into new thoughts which carry forward and continue to reinforce and affect the way you live your life (bringing us full circle). But, when you start watching it all, the cycle can be broken. You strengthen awareness of your thoughts and inner narrative. You see how it all comes into being, exists, and passes - moment after moment after moment. And, in doing so, you learn to notice everything without getting caught up in it. This is the essence of mindfulness and meditation, and developing a consistent practice will help you stop identifying with your mind and it's activity. It will help you stop following your thoughts wherever they lead. It will help you see the difference between what's happening, and the stories your mind tells you about what's happening. Instead, you learn to watch it all come and go - like clouds moving across the sky. Held hostage by the drama your mind creates? We can help. |