note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required).
Once a week we highlight quotes that will (hopefully) resonate with you. We may or may not add our own commentary. Most likely, we will. This week we will start with Seth Godin: "You’re responsible for what you do, but you don’t have authority and control over the outcome. We can hide from that, or we can embrace it." So much of our time and energy is wasted on things we can't control. The ironic thing is, if you take that time and energy you spend trying to control outcomes and reallocate it to what you can control (your decisions and actions in the present moment), you increase the likelihood of achieving desired results. Why? Because if your time and energy is focused on what you can do here and now - and not on mental gymnastics and ruminations - the quality of your efforts will improve. And, you avoid the self-imposed suffering from worry, stress, anxiety, and depression related to the constant (and futile) struggle of trying to control the uncontrollable. Next, from Charles Dickens: "Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." There's a lot in this quote. First, you aren't a victim and you aren't alone on an island with your struggles. Everyone suffers similar challenges and misfortunes, but your mind tries to convince you it's only you. Or that you have it worse than everyone else. It's not only you. You don't have it worse. If you quit listening to your mind when it tells you otherwise, you won't feel so separated from the rest of the world, and you'll develop more compassion for yourself and others. Second, no matter what problems you are facing, you have something to be grateful for. The state of gratitude, however, needs to be cultivated. Here's one idea on how to do that. Finally, the present moment is the only moment you can actually live. Resist the urge to follow your mind into the past, future, or an alternate reality. What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. note: our free guide to mindfulness and meditation really is free - no email or registration required. The link is at the bottom of the page. Once a week we highlight quotes that will (hopefully) resonate with you. We may or may not add our own commentary. Most likely, we will. This week we start with Nell Tropan: "Mind is neither good nor bad, but is useful and dangerous at the same time, just as water can nourish or drown you." As we often say - thoughts aren't the problem. Emotions aren't the problem. Your mind isn't the problem. The problem is you identify with these things - you get caught up in them. As such, they condition your behavior and give rise to struggles such as stress, anxiety, depression, a lack of focus, et cetera. Your mind is your mind - it's not good or bad. You use it when you need it, but don't let it control your life when you don't. Next, from Eckhart Tolle: "Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don't realize this because almost everyone is suffering from it, so it is considered normal. This incessant mental noise prevents you from finding that realm of inner stillness that is inseparable from Being." I would say "Being lost in thought and not being able to move your attention away from it is a dreadful affliction." Our minds are compulsive, and they produce non-stop activity. Much like a fish doesn't realize it's surrounded by water because it's always been surrounded by water, we don't realize how constant and pervasive thoughts are because we're always subjected to them. It's our normal state. What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. Thanks for visiting - 2023 marks our 20th anniversary! This site is ad-free and supported by sales of our online courses. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the bottom of the page and read Day 1 of "Your inner narrative" to see if it's right for you...no email required. "Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone." - Alan WattsThe above picture and quote have been making the rounds on social media. This is only a snippet, however. Here is the entire quote: Furthermore, as muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone, it could be argued that those who sit quietly and do nothing are making one of the best possible contributions to a world in turmoil. It comes from Watts' book "The Way of Zen," and this particular passage is discussing how most people in modern society view something like "sitting and meditating" as a waste of time. To the contrary, the usual view is things need to be fixed in our lives (and the world), and in order to fix them we need to think more and do more. Sitting and meditating doesn't lend itself to either of those! Watts makes this observation to support his original quote: "Yet it should be obvious that action without wisdom, without clear awareness of the world as it really is, can never improve anything." The emphasis here is "clear awareness of the world as it really is." The average person is exposed to tens of thousands of thoughts every day, and we find ourselves at the mercy of an inner narrative that comments on, labels, and judges everything (including ourselves!). Reality gets buried under all this mental noise. Put simply: we don't see things as they are, we see things as our minds present them. Or, as I'm fond of saying, "There's what's happening, and there's the stories our minds tells us about what's happening - the two rarely match." We all get lost in thoughts and swept away by emotions, and we all tend to follow our minds wherever they lead. It becomes an endless cycle, and reinforces the belief that the answers to life's problems are "do more," "try harder," "go faster." But, you can't solve the problems created by thinking with more thinking. That's important, and bears repeating: You can't solve the problems created by thinking with more thinking.That's why sitting and meditating is important. You are training yourself not to get caught up in thoughts, emotions, and mind-made activity. And, when you are able to consistently move your attention away from the mental noise, you create space that allows you to see reality clearly - without the filters and constructs your mind adds to it. This, in turn, helps you be more skillful in your behavior (decisions, actions, reactions). Another way to say it is, moving your attention away from the mental noise is analogous to leaving muddy water alone: you are left with a clear view of reality (unclouded by "mental drama" you are no longer indulging), just like you are left with clear water (unclouded by the sediment that settles to the bottom). <>
Our minds constantly create stories about what we experience, and we spend most of our time caught up in those stories. This results in the stress and struggles of daily life. "Your inner narrative" (our 15-day online course) can help you break that pattern. Read Day 1 here (no email required). Our last two musings on the difference between mindfulness and meditation and how to meditate (short and simple) have gotten a lot of visibility.
Thank you for sharing! With that in mind (pun intended), we want to focus our "weekly quotes" on these topics. Many quotes on mindfulness and meditation perpetuate the numerous misconceptions that exist. Or, they're empty platitudes with little relation to the actual practices. The three we highlight below, however, capture the essence of what they are and what they help you do. We start with Shyalpa Tenzin Rinpoche: "Meditation is not just for relaxation; its primary purpose is to develop the capacity to respond skilfully and gracefully to life's difficulties, as well as its joys." Relaxing can be a side-effect of a consistent practice, but it's not the goal. Meditating helps you cultivate awareness of what's happening in your mind. It teaches you to notice and not "blindly" follow thoughts and emotions down a path culminating in conditioned behavior that leads to stress, anxiety, endless worry, et cetera. This is treating the root cause, whereas "relaxation techniques" only treat the symptoms. Next, this comes from a few different sources: "Meditation is not something magical or mysterious, meditation is to see things just as they are. So if you come to meditation expecting magic, I'm very sorry; magic is three doors down the corridor." There is reality, and there are the filters and constructs our minds put on top of reality. Meditation helps you shed those, which - in turn - allows you to make better decisions and take more skillful actions. It doesn't get more mystical, magical, or mysterious than that. And, one of my personal favorites, from James Baraz: "Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t)." We cause ourselves to suffer because we try to control temporary phenomena (and, everything is temporary). We cling to what we label "good," and push away what we label "bad." We see the present moment as an obstacle or stepping stone, and always look to the future for happiness. This creates a life of unease and "peaks and valleys." Understanding your mind, developing a consistent meditation practice, and applying mindfulness to your daily life helps you break free from that life. What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. This week, instead of multiple quotes, we focus on just one: "Mindfulness is like the rope that keeps the wild elephant from destroying everything in sight. The rope of mindfulness brings us back to our immediate experience: to our breath, to our walking, to the book in our hands." - Pema Chodron We tend to complicate mindfulness. More accurately, our minds tend to complicate mindfulness. It's actually simple, though. Our mental noise (thoughts, emotions, urges, stories, that ongoing narrative) is constant and pervasive. In any given moment, we are in one of two states - caught up in it or not caught up in it. "The rope of mindfulness" moves us from the former state to the latter. What does it mean to be mindful?When you are mindful, you aren't following your thoughts away from the present moment. You become aware of them, and this awareness keeps you from getting caught up in them. Instead, you return your attention to what you are doing right here and now. Mindfulness is both an action and a state. It's something you do - become aware and return. And, it's a state you cultivate through consistent practice. Mindfulness keeps you from dwelling on the past or stressing about the future. It allows you to engage fully with whatever is happening now: when you work, work. When you play, play. When you eat, eat. When you walk the dog, walk the dog. You will find that the quality of life improves when you don't divide your attention between what you're doing here and now and the mental noise playing in your head. What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. Once a week we highlight quotes that will (hopefully) resonate with you. We may or may not add our own commentary. Most likely, we will. This week we start with Tai Sheridan: "Thoughts can be a jail. Watching them coming and going lets you out to play in the universe." If you are caught up in your mental noise, it influences your decisions, actions, and reactions. When you are able to notice it without getting caught up in it, you have new-found freedom from the conditioned patterns that cause you suffering. Next, from Vidyamala Burch: "It's hard to reflect on your circumstances and to learn new ways of responding if the mind roams like a wild animal." I would say "if you follow your mind as it roams like a wild animal." While mindfulness and meditation can have the side effect of a mind that roams less, it's not the goal. The major benefit of practice is that regardless of what your mind is doing, you no longer get caught up in it. And, from the Dalai Lama. In a week that saw conflict over equal rights for various groups, his message of connection is more important than ever: "Given the scale of life in the cosmos, one human life is no more than a tiny blip. Each one of us is a just visitor to this planet, a guest, who will only stay for a limited time. What greater folly could there be than to spend this short time alone, unhappy or in conflict with our companions? Far better, surely, to use our short time here in living a meaningful life, enriched by our sense of connection with others and being of service to them." What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. note: our free guide to mindfulness and meditation really is free - no email or registration required. The link is at the bottom of the page. Once a week we highlight quotes that will (hopefully) resonate with you. We may or may not add our own commentary. Most likely, we will.
This week's topic: compassion. We start with Thomas Merton: "The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the interdependence of all these living beings, which are all part of one another, and all involved in one another." This is an aspect of compassion that is usually overlooked - interdependence. We will elaborate on it later this week (edit - we did here and here). Next, this is attributed to various sources - Plato, Ian Maclaren, and Philo of Alexandria: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Simply put, you never know what struggles another person is facing. Work to drop judgment and recognize that, although you may not agree with their methods, they are trying to cope with things that you don't know about...just like you are trying to cope with things they don't know about. Next, from Pema Chodron: "True compassion does not come from wanting to help out those less fortunate than ourselves but from realizing our kinship with all beings." Helping those less fortunate is important, but it's not a substitute for understanding the similarities we all share, and cultivating an appreciation for the common struggles we all face. And once you (truly) develop that understanding, you will never lack motivation to help others! And last, from Eckhart Tolle: "Compassion is the awareness of a deep bond between yourself and all creatures." Again, interdependence - something we will elaborate on later this week (edit - we did here and here). > Find out more about what we teach. If this resonated with you, join our mailing list to receive more like it. Yesterday's musing on impermanence resonated with many of you - in fact, it's our most popular daily musing so far!
In that spirit, I want to continue the topic today by featuring an excerpt from the book Thoughts Without A Thinker: (editor's note - the story below has since been added to the previously referenced musing) >>> "You see this goblet?" asks Achaan Chaah, the Thai meditation master. "For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, 'Of course.' When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious." <<< As stated yesterday, the realization that "everything is temporary" is not a negative view. Just the opposite, the realization that "everything is temporary" helps you appreciate everything in the moment it exists, and appreciate every moment you have with it. > Find out more about what we teach. If this resonated with you, join our mailing list to receive more like it. |