Last updated November, 2019. note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required). Note - the following post was written by Chelsea, our Chief Mindfulness Officer and creator of "ARC: mindfulness for children." Becoming aware of the mental activity you were previously unaware of is comparable to thinking you are alone in an empty stadium, and then realizing you are actually surrounded by a hundred thousand screaming - oftentimes angry - fans. - meditationSHIFT Back in January, we wrote a post called Meditation, your Inbox, and contentment, which compared your mind to a cluttered email inbox. We received a lot of feedback from our readers about how much it resonated - I mean, we all dream about getting to "Inbox zero," right? Everything neatly delegated, completed, and filed away. Sounds nice. It sounds even nicer when it comes to de-cluttering our crazy minds. But is there such a thing as "mind zero?" The short answer is no, and part of the long answer is that you wouldn't really want there to be. What we do all want is to feel less stressed, less overwhelmed, less anxious about what's actually there. So, while we can’t hit the "unsubscribe" button on every thought that pops up, we can learn how to keep them from bogging us down. The key to this is awareness, and in order to drive this point home, we've decided to stick with the oh-so-applicable computer analogy. Imagine you’re working on your computer when you notice it starts to take a little longer to process information, open new programs, and load web pages. It’s noticeably slower than it was this a few weeks ago, and it's definitely not performing as efficiently as when it was brand new. So, you decide to do some basic troubleshooting. You begin by exiting most of the programs you currently have open, but it doesn't help much. You double-click on Task Manager, and your eyes widen as you notice that there are many, many more applications and processes running in the background than you were aware of. You give the list a once-over and realize the majority weren't even initiated by you - they've been set to load automatically when your computer boots up. You quickly hit "end task" on the biggest offenders, change their settings, do a quick restart, and you’re back in business. Just like a computer, your mind also has a lot of background activity going on, but the applications and processes take the form of thoughts and emotions. And, most of this activity goes on automatically without any conscious effort on your part. For every thought and emotion you are actually aware of, there are many more lurking just beyond your plane of awareness. This background activity (that you are usually unaware of!) drains you mentally and physically. And, even worse, it ultimately dictates "who you are" and "what you do." Goodbye productivity, creativity, and patience. These "unseen" thoughts and emotions influence your actions and behaviors in subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) ways. Irrational fears, knee-jerk reactions, rash decisions...these are all examples of your mind taking the reins and imposing itself on your ability to act skillfully. You find yourself unable to concentrate for very long on any one task, and you work harder to get less done in more time. Instead of crafting thoughtful responses to people and situations, you react quickly and impulsively. You might even feel like you aren't completely in control of yourself. The good news is, you don’t need to abolish or "get rid of" these thoughts or feelings—in fact, you would most likely just increase their numbers and pervasiveness if you tried. Instead, all you need to do is strengthen your awareness of them. Notice them, acknowledge them without judging or analyzing, and watch them as they pass the same way they arose (essentially hitting their own “end task” buttons). Becoming aware of your unchecked thinking helps you zero in on that distracting, dull hum that you didn’t even know was there, effectively shutting it off. Strengthening awareness equips you with your own personal "Task Manager," but it takes practice to learn how to access and utilize it. Your mind is compulsive, and it will sweep you away in the drama it creates every chance it gets. Don’t let it. Learn how to become more aware and mindful by meditating every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. A consistent practice is essential to breaking down the mental constructs that keep your mind from operating at peak performance. Stop getting caught up in the stories running through your head.Thanks for visiting - 2023 marks our 20th anniversary! This site is ad-free and supported by sales of our online courses. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the bottom of the page and read Day 1 of "Your inner narrative" to see if it's right for you...no email required. It's time for another installment of "Question and Answer Tuesdays!" This week, we had similar questions from both Stacy and Adam: "How does 'observing thoughts' fit in with meditating? Do you watch them, or do you focus your attention on your mantra? I'm not sure which of the two I do, or if I try to do them both at once. And, what does a meditation session look like as you move between the mantra and thinking?" These are common questions. It can be confusing, especially when you read different instructions from different teachers. First, observing doesn't imply an active component. This means when you observe thoughts, you don't analyze or interact with them. You simply watch them as they come into being, exist, and cease (i.e., as they arise and pass). Second, you can only observe thoughts when you become aware of them. You can't observe thoughts when you are lost in them. And, meditating is a formal exercise that helps you move from "lost in thoughts" to "aware of thoughts". When you are meditating, you have an anchor - the two most common are your breath and a mantra. You focus your attention on this anchor. At some point, you will notice your attention has wandered and you'll become aware of thoughts. You may notice it immediately, or it may take some time. Regardless, once you notice, simply guide your attention back to the anchor. When you do this over and over again, two things happen:
"Learning to observe what arises and passes without getting caught up in it" (#2 above) is a skill you develop while meditating. This skill is made possible by training your attention (#1 above). As you develop this skill, it allows you to make a choice in each unfolding moment:
Indulging is our normal choice, though it's a bit of a misnomer to call it "a choice." Our default state is unaware, following our minds wherever they lead, mindlessly indulging mental phenomena, reacting habitually to desires and aversions. This default state results in our struggles and suffering. Not indulging allows us to move away from this default state. As far as how this unfolds in a meditation session, here's a sample of what it may look like (using a mantra as the anchor):
And so it goes! <>
Our minds constantly create stories about what we experience, and we spend most of our time caught up in those stories. This results in the stress and struggles of daily life. "Your inner narrative" (our 15-day online course) can help you break that pattern. Read Day 1 here (no email required). Thanks for visiting - 2023 marks our 20th anniversary! This site is ad-free and supported by sales of our online courses. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the bottom of the page and read Day 1 of "Your inner narrative" to see if it's right for you...no email required. It's time for another installment of "Question and Answer Tuesdays!" Jim writes: "I live in a noisy environment with traffic sounds coming from outside and, at times, roommates who are moving around and talking. Is it ok to wear headphones and listen to music to block out these distractions? Along those lines, is guided meditation a good method for helping me to focus better so I can analyze my thoughts?" These are great questions because they allow us to address a few more misconceptions about meditating:
I'll address each of these, but first we need to come up with a working definition of meditation. Here are two: Short version Meditation isn't about "shutting everything out" or trying to stop thoughts. It's about strengthening awareness of thoughts, and learning to observe them without getting caught up in them. Longer version Our normal state is "lost in thought" - and, because this is our normal state, most of us don't realize we're lost in thought. It's a bit like a fish not realizing it's surrounded by water. It's always surrounded by water, so what is there to notice? This normal state leads to conditioned behavior, which dictates our decisions, actions, and reactions, and leads to the struggles we all face:
Meditating is a dedicated exercise that helps you strengthen awareness of your mind and its non-stop activity. It helps you develop the skill of observing it all without getting caught up in it. Developing a consistent practice will help combat being lost in thought. You can transfer the skills you develop during meditating to your "non-meditating time." We refer to this as bringing mindfulness to your daily life, and it allows you to break free from conditioned behavior and dramatically reduce your struggles and suffering. Put another way, you are no longer held hostage by the next thought, emotion, or urge that pops into your head. -- Now that we have a definition, let's look at your first question: Should you wear headphones and listen to music to block out external noises? No! When you meditate, you should observe everything that arises in your consciousness, including sounds, smells, thoughts, feelings, emotions, et cetera. Watch everything as it comes into being, exists, and passes - which it will if you don't indulge it (if you don't get caught up in it). Learn to recognize the temporary nature of all phenomena: whatever arises will pass; nothing is permanent. You mention roommates. There is nothing wrong with moving to a quieter area to practice, especially if you are surrounded by people who are going about their lives in a noisy manner. And I'm not challenging you to try to meditate during a live concert, or while your friends are in the same room cheering on their favorite sports team. But, you shouldn't strive to isolate yourself from reality and the "everyday" conditions that come with it. If you are meditating and you hear someone talking - or a dog barks, or a horn honks, or a siren wails - simply notice the sound and any thoughts, feelings, or emotions that arise about the sound, and return your attention to your anchor (usually your breath or a mantra). The same applies to smells, minor aches and pains, or whatever else might arise in consciousness (such as an itch, or a desire to stop meditating). You are strengthening awareness, so simply notice everything that comes and goes as it comes and goes. Don't judge it and don't fight it: don't indulge it in any way. Next, you ask about guided meditation. "Guided meditation" is listening to audio or watching a video that gives instructions to assist you in your practice. There are several pitfalls to this method, but these are the three we usually highlight:
Instead of becoming dependent on guided meditation, learn to do it properly by focusing on your breath or a mantra. If you do that, you will be able to meditate anytime and anywhere. Finally, you mention "analyzing thoughts" in your questions. It's important to note that meditation isn't analyzing thoughts. You don't dwell on your thoughts, and you don't dissect them or try to understand why they occur. You simply observe. If you analyze, you are indulging thoughts by engaging with them. This gives rise to more thoughts, which lead to emotions, which lead to more thoughts, which lead to more emotions...and on and on and on. You aren't strengthening awareness at this point - you are getting dragged around by your mind. So, again, simply observe. Strengthen awareness. Watch it all arise and pass. <>
Our minds constantly create stories about what we experience, and we spend most of our time caught up in those stories. This results in the stress and struggles of daily life. "Your inner narrative" (our 15-day online course) can help you break that pattern. Read Day 1 here (no email required). Last updated October, 2017. note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required). Look at your email Inbox - what's it like? Are you the person who strives to keep it empty? When an email comes in, do you immediately decide what to do with it: take action, delegate, file, or delete? Or, are you like the other 99.9% of us who have a cluttered Inbox? I have an email dating back to February of last year in my Inbox. It's there because I was supposed to do something with it. Once a month I open it and remember what I was supposed to do. This has been going on for almost a year now, but there it sits...mocking me. Can you relate? Now, compare your mind to your email Inbox. And, thoughts to emails. When a new thought pops up, what do you do with it? Does it just sit there, cluttering up your mind? Do you try to ignore it, but get annoyed when you catch a glimpse of it? Or, do you purposefully keep it around "just in case?" Our minds tend to be much worse than our Inboxes. They are full of thoughts - what do you do with them? If you like them (i.e., you label them "good" or "positive"), you might try to keep them around; this is akin to forced positive thinking. If you don't like them (i.e., you label them "bad" or "negative"), you might try to suppress or repress them; this is never a healthy option. But, for all of the thoughts you know about, there are a lot more you don't know about. Your mind doesn't have an "off-switch" - it's constantly producing thoughts, and you're not even aware of most of them. You're not alone, though - if it's any consolation, this is the case for all of us (whether we realize it or not). As Eckhart Tolle often points out: "The human condition is lost in thought. " Regardless of your level of awareness, all of these thoughts are there. They give rise emotions, which lead to more thoughts and more emotions, which culminates in conditioned behavior (decisions, actions, reactions). And, this process determines your state of being. Returning to the analogy: If your mind is like a cluttered Inbox, you are most likely in a perpetual state of stress. You probably find yourself overwhelmed much of the time. You might suffer from feelings of anxiety or depression, as well as issues with sleep, focus, productivity, and so on. If, on the other hand, your mind is not like a cluttered Inbox, you are most likely in a more content state much of the time. You might find you are creative and focused, which results in greater productivity. And you probably don't lay awake at night, dwelling on thoughts of everything that has gone wrong (or, could go wrong) in your life. The question is, how do you "un-clutter" your mind? Especially if you don't even know about most of what's there? It's a bit of a trick question, because you don't actually un-clutter it. Instead, you learn to move your attention away from it and let it be as it is. You do this by strengthening awareness of your mind and its non-stop activity. You develop the skill of noticing it all without getting caught up in it. This is the essence of meditating. If you develop a consistent practice and bring mindfulness to your daily life, you will distance yourself from the mental clutter of the 50,000+ thoughts you are exposed to every day. Instead of continually being caught up in all of it - instead of being dragged around by all of it - you use what you need, and move your attention away from the rest. As a result, your life (unlike your Inbox) will be less chaotic. Now I need to figure out what to do with that email from last February. Stop dealing with the symptoms.Stress, anxiety, self-confidence issues, the inability to stop bad habits, problems with sleep and focus, and on and on and on.
These and the other things we struggle with every day are only symptoms. The good news is, they all share the same root cause. The bad news is, if you don't address that root cause, the symptoms will keep coming back no matter what you do. That's why we wrote "An owner's guide to the mind." For almost 20 years, people have been using it to address the root cause of their daily struggles. Click here to view the contents and learn more. Thanks for visiting - last year (2023) marked our 20th anniversary! In 2024 we're releasing our newest program - it helps people who are stuck in a constant state of fight-or-flight. You can read more about it by clicking the link at the bottom of this article. It's time for another installment of "Question and Answer Tuesdays!" Erica writes: "I've read a lot about meditating on the Internet and, to be honest, it's very confusing. There seem to be dozens of different types, and conflicting instructions on what to do and how to do it. What type of meditation should I focus on? Or, should I do more than one type of meditation? I really don't know where to start." When you Google "how to meditate," you'll find millions of results (seriously!). We constantly get questions on how the different types compare, and which one somebody should practice: Samatha (or concentration), Vipassana (or insight), mindfulness, zazen, metta (or loving-kindness), guided, transcendental, MBSR...the list goes on and on. There are a lot of methods. There's a lot of advice. And, as you pointed out, much of it conflicts! It's easy to suffer information overload, which - according to Wikipedia - leads to a reduction in decision quality and a likelihood of no action being taken. That's a bit disheartening: there's so much information available that it overwhelms a lot of people and, as a result, they won't even attempt to meditate. It doesn't have to be complicated, though. The question I ask people is "Why do you want to meditate?" These are the most popular answers:
The one thing these answers have in common is a need to better understand the mind. Once you begin to understand the mind, how it works, and the problems it creates in your life, then you can focus on the method. If you don't have this understanding, however, you'll probably view meditating as a chore or an item to check off your "to-do list." That means you will bounce around from one type of meditation to another, never really focusing, and abandoning your efforts after a short period of time. In order to understand the mind, you need to become aware of the filters and constructs it places on top of reality. Put simply, we don't see things as they are - we see things as our minds present them. This brings us full circle to the original question: "What type of meditation do I focus on?" My answer is simple: when you strip away all the extraneous stuff, there is only ONE type. This one type involves strengthening awareness (also known as "cultivating mindfulness"), and learning to notice your mind and its activity (also known as "mental noise") without getting caught up in it. One more time: strengthening awareness and learning to notice your mind and its activity without getting caught up in it. What do we call this one type? Meditating! No fancy names, no extra labels, no added complexity. Here are the steps:
Don't get frustrated if it takes you a while to notice your attention has wandered from your anchor - sometimes you catch it immediately, sometimes it takes longer. It doesn't matter - simply return it to your anchor when you do notice. Notice and return, over and over and over again. As you develop more experience, attempt to actively refrain from judging and labeling thoughts, emotions, or anything else that arises. Drop the urge to categorize "this" as good or positive and "that" as bad or negative. Thoughts are just thoughts. Emotions are just emotions. They hold no special power over you unless you give it to them. They will go the same as they came, provided you don't cling to them and make them "yours." And, provided you don't try to chase after what gives you pleasant feelings or run away from what gives you unpleasant feelings. If you observe instead of interfering, you will see everything progress through a natural cycle of arising (coming), existing for a time, and passing (going). Don't get mad if a sound interrupts your practice. If something itches and you have to scratch it, scratch it. If you have to shift your position, shift your position. At the same time, if you can notice discomfort and the desire to alleviate it (scratching, shifting) and let it pass without acting on it, then do so. After all, discomfort is just discomfort. And, thoughts about discomfort are just thoughts about discomfort. And, urges to do something are just urges to do something. Simply return your attention to your anchor once you notice it has wandered and you're caught up in thoughts. Notice and return, over and over and over again. What does this do for you? If you develop a consistent practice, it gets easier to observe thoughts, emotions, and urges when you aren't practicing: this is referred to as being mindful. As you go through your day, you can see this "mental noise" as it arises and realize you don't have to get caught up in it or react to every single thing that happens around (or inside) you. Instead, you learn to let it all be as it is, independent of you and your attention. This is commonly referred to as "letting thoughts and emotions go," or letting them pass. It means you are choosing not to follow them down a path that culminates in conditioned behavior and habitual actions and reactions - a path that leads to struggles with stress, anxiety, self-doubt, et cetera. That's it. Forget all the different types, forget the labels, forget the complexity. Just start. Why not set a timer for 5 minutes right now? ___Are you stuck in a constant state of fight-or-flight? Are you struggling with all the problems it causes?
Are you even aware of all the problems it causes? If this sounds like you, read more about our newest program here. Last updated October, 2018. note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required). It's time for another installment of "Question and Answer Tuesdays!" Stephen writes: "I enjoy your articles and get a lot from your blog posts. But, when I read something like what you posted on Medium last week (Stop trying to control your thoughts), it confuses me. I have a lot of negative thoughts, and thoughts that I don't want to continue. They put me in a bad mood, and they make me unhappy with myself. So I do want to control them to the extent that I make them go away/stop thinking them. What is your advice?" Read your words - you said "they put me in a bad mood," and "they make me unhappy with myself." My advice is stop judging yourself so harshly! Your problem isn't the thoughts, your problem is your aversion to the thoughts. This aversion perpetuates attachment - it's like the old saying: "Whatever you fight only becomes stronger." We are conditioned to judge what happens and label it as "good" or "bad." If we label it as good, we cling to it and try to keep it from changing. If we label it as bad, we push it away or try to repress it. Both lead to suffering. In your case, you want thoughts you label as bad to go away. But, when they don't go away (or go away and then come back!), you get frustrated, upset, and the cycle of judgment continues. Trying to control thoughts is a futile task. Instead, learn to drop the labels and view what happens from a neutral perspective. How do you do that? By strengthening awareness. Awareness allows you to notice thoughts without getting caught up in them. And, it helps you develop the skill of moving your attention away from them when they aren't useful. This is commonly referred to as "letting them pass." You will find that thoughts are temporary - they arise, exist for a time, and cease (they come and go). You can watch them pass like clouds in the sky. And, in doing so, you realize the "content" of your mind doesn't matter; what matters is not indulging thoughts, and turning something temporary into something permanent (remember our quote above: "Whatever you fight [indulge] only becomes stronger"). Take the time and energy you previously spent trying to control thought and reallocate it to building a consistent meditation practice, and bring mindfulness to your daily life. The benefits can be life-changing. Stop dealing with the symptoms.Stress, anxiety, self-confidence issues, the inability to stop bad habits, problems with sleep and focus, and on and on and on.
These and the other things we struggle with every day are only symptoms. The good news is, they all share the same root cause. The bad news is, if you don't address that root cause, the symptoms will keep coming back no matter what you do. That's why we wrote "An owner's guide to the mind." For almost 20 years, people have been using it to address the root cause of their daily struggles. Click here to view the contents and learn more. The creator of meditationSHIFT published a new article on Medium. Here is an excerpt: "The bottom line is, thoughts come and go. Trying to control what thoughts occur when, or trying to stop certain thoughts from happening altogether, is a poor use of your time and energy. There is good news, however. If you accept that you can’t control your thoughts, you can focus your efforts on what you can do: cultivate awareness and observation, and learn to interrupt the process of conditioned responses and reactions." Go to Medium to read the rest (you don't need to create an account to read it, but if you have an account and enjoy the article, please "Recommend" it). You can find all of Jon's articles on Medium here. < What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. Last updated October, 2018. note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required). That title is a little misleading in the sense that you don't train your mind. Instead, you train your attention. Your mind will do what it does. Your job is to strengthen awareness of it - to develop the skill of noticing it all without getting caught up in it. It's challenging, because we all get caught up in analyzing the content of our minds - we label, judge, and try to figure out why thoughts and emotions exist:
But, it's not the content that matters. What matters is you get wrapped up in the content instead of moving your attention away from it. If you let those thoughts, emotions, and urges be as they are, independent from your and your attention, they will pass. They will come back, of course! But then they will pass again. If you practice moving your attention away over and over, you begin reversing a lifetime of conditioning that keeps you following your mind and habitually acting with desire for - or aversion towards - thoughts, emotions, urges, and the other things that arise in awareness. This is training your attention. It's not controlling your thoughts. It's not forcing yourself to think positive. It's learning to notice your compulsive mind and it's non-stop activity without getting caught up in it. And, it's choosing to move your attention away from it. Stop dealing with the symptoms.Stress, anxiety, self-confidence issues, the inability to stop bad habits, problems with sleep and focus, and on and on and on.
These and the other things we struggle with every day are only symptoms. The good news is, they all share the same root cause. The bad news is, if you don't address that root cause, the symptoms will keep coming back no matter what you do. That's why we wrote "An owner's guide to the mind." For almost 20 years, people have been using it to address the root cause of their daily struggles. Click here to view the contents and learn more. |