Last updated November, 2017. note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required). The following post was written by Chelsea, our Chief Mindfulness Officer and creator of "ARC: mindfulness for children." -- Thanksgiving and its two alter-egos, Black Friday and Cyber Monday, have just passed. The few stores that hadn’t gilded their displays in Christmas colors the minute Halloween was over have surely done so by now. The pressure is on and the clock is ticking, but the month of December doesn’t have to feel like a mad dash to the end of the year. Here are a few tips on how to stay mindful and keep the joy-killing stress at bay. 1.) Don’t just be grateful, stay grateful. We spend Thanksgiving Day surrounded by family and friends in celebration of everything we have because it’s easy to forget just how lucky we are. When we’re embroiled in the everyday events of home life and work, it’s nice to have a designated holiday as a reminder to pause and be thankful for our health and loved ones. But, gratitude doesn’t need to be relegated to just one day a year or to such big-ticket items. Carry that sense of appreciation into December and beyond by starting (and committing to!) a gratitude journal and writing down a couple of things that strike you each day - you’d be surprised at the number of things to be grateful for when you actually start to take notice. Little things like another checkout lane opening up in the grocery store or finding a decent parking spot will start making their way onto an ever-growing list of favorite things, and before you know it, Julie Andrews won’t have nothin’ on you. Noticing the small stuff each day will help keep you grounded, humble, and focused on one awesome thing at a time. 2.) Engage your senses. Visions of sugarplums may dance in our heads when we think of the holidays, but taste isn’t the only sense that the season can titillate. Breathe in deeply and immerse yourself in the wonderful scents of the season such as nutmeg, cinnamon, and pine. Watch your breath crystallize into fog in the chilly air, and bathe in the warmth of a fire or a cozy sweater. Have you ever driven down the road on a frosty night with the windows down and the heater blasting on your feet? Do it; it’s like apple pie à la mode for your sense of touch. Listen to the tinkling of bells and laughter, and look at the arrays of colorful lights and happy faces. The holiday season is a veritable cornucopia of all-around sensory stimulation that you can use to envelope yourself in the present moment. 3.) Simplify. With everything going on, now is not the time to try out that new super-complicated recipe. Stock up on frozen foods and bust out a few easy casseroles over the coming weeks. Making your menus quick and simple will allow you to spend your evenings on the things that really matter. Long gift list? Stage a minor rebellion against consumerism and consider limiting your “nice” list to immediate family members only. For large families, Secret Santa gift-giving can lighten your load both mentally and financially. Or, you could ditch the tangibles completely and opt for donating to your loved ones’ favorite charities in their names. 4.) Don't forget to take care of yourself, too. While the holiday season is the time of year when we think about others the most, it’s important to remember self-care. Take a bath, read a book, get a massage... and don’t skip your meditation sessions! Give yourself permission to say “no," and reassess your obligations. Not every party needs you there (I promise!), so limit the number of commitments you make. Everyone has their limits, so be aware of and accept yours. Your sanity will thank you for it. 5.) Walk it off. The temperatures have plummeted and it’s tempting to stay inside under the covers, but taking a walk will do more than help you burn that bird: being outside in the sunlight can be a great mood-booster and help you reset your gauges. The brisk air will help clear your mind, and the exercise will give you more energy to deal with any challenges that might pop up (like a last, lonely cookie that needs to be eaten). So, bundle up and move it outside! The moral of the story is that the holiday season is supposed to be a time of warmth and happiness; if you truly enjoy baking 25 dozen cookies each December and hosting a gazillion parties, then do it. But, stretching yourself thin can quickly dull your ability to stay in the present moment enough to enjoy it. Re-evaluate your priorities and ditch anything that’s not essential, because your presence - both physical and mental - is the best gift you can give anyway. What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. Last updated December, 2017. note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required). The following post was written by Chelsea, our Chief Mindfulness Officer and creator of "ARC: mindfulness for children." -- I changed my walking route the other day as I am wont to do every so often. The park in which I’d been walking for the past few months was becoming a little too familiar and crowded, and my daily 45-minute walk was beginning to feel more like an hour and a half. I chose the new trail based on the abundance of trees that I could see lining its sides from the road - fall is in full swing here and, like many others, I am a huge fan of the beautiful colors that come with the change of season. Combine that with the sounds of resident birds and rustling leaves, and you’ve got my idea of the perfect setting for a walking meditation. I was about 15 minutes through my walk when I came to a fork in the trail. I decided on the section of the trail that veered off to the right and continued along for a few minutes when suddenly I was shocked into a full stop. It was a patch of bright red and gold leaves that had caught my attention, but it wasn’t so much the color itself that had stopped me (fiery colors are everywhere at this time of year). It was the vibrant contrast that the color presented. I had walked into a stretch of evergreens without realizing it, and there was a small copse of maple trees that had somehow found its home amidst the pines. My vision felt slightly seared as I stood there staring at the blazing red surrounded by all that green, and I realized that I’d been lost in my thoughts and unaware that the landscape had changed. I’d become habituated; the vibrant hues of fall had no longer been holding my attention, and it took a visual interruption to jolt me back into the present moment. In the realm of psychology, the word habituation is defined as “the diminishing of a physiological or emotional response to a frequently repeated stimulus.” In short, we get used to things the more we’re exposed to them. This ability to quickly digest new information and move on to something else is an advantage to us as children because it helps us learn about the world around us (in fact, it’s seen as an indicator of intelligence in infants). But, what does a novelty-seeking nature mean for us in adulthood? Sure, it keeps us moving forward and learning, but the part of our brains that compels us to seek out new stimuli in order to learn and grow is the same part that causes us to lose wonder, interest, and contentment in things simply because they have become familiar to us. Louis CK did a comedy bit awhile back in which he talked about how everything is amazing but no one is happy, and the message he was sending is worth reiterating: As a society, we have become so accustomed to the convenience of things around us that we no longer experience the amazement and joy that they afford. They no longer captivate us or inspire us or cause us to pause. We’ve grown mental calluses that numb our perception and experience, leaving us yearning for the ever-demanding more and searching for happiness outside of ourselves. Habituation is in our nature and can be used to our advantage, but it’s important to maintain (or create) a balance between assimilation and apathy. As Larry Watson said: "With so much unknown in this life, how little it takes for a face, a grove of trees, an outcropping of stone to become familiar.” Familiarize yourself, but don’t let the extraordinary become displaced and mundane. Take care that the word “acquaint” doesn’t become synonymous with “forget,” and take pleasure in the small. Because sometimes the small is what inspires the most mindful moments. What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. We will be away for a few weeks (travel, speaking, and (maybe) a day or two off). In the meantime...it is estimated that 15 million new iPhones will be sold this coming weekend. I like the iPhone, but it begs the question: do you think your happiness lies in your next purchase? Or your next job? Or your next significant other? If your happiness lies on the other side of "something else," you will never have lasting happiness. Our most popular and shared article over the past 11 years is "Searching for happiness - is it out there?" If you haven't read it, we think you'll enjoy it. If you have read it, it's worth re-reading! We will return on Tuesday, September 30th with a new installment of "Question and Answer Tuesdays!" < What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. Thanks for visiting - 2023 marks our 20th anniversary! This site is ad-free and supported by sales of our online courses. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the bottom of the page and read Day 1 of "Your inner narrative" to see if it's right for you...no email required. Are you depending on your future self to save you? It won't. It can't. But, why? Because your future self doesn't exist. And, it never will - it's an illusion. The only thing that exists is you right here and now, in the present moment. And, the present moment is the only time you can actually do anything. We all fall into this trap - we think tomorrow we will be the person we always wanted to be. We think tomorrow we will do the things we need to do:
We refer to this process as tomorrowing yourself to the end of your life. NOW IS THE ONLY MOMENT YOU CAN LIVE. This sounds like a motivational (or new age) platitude, right? The reality is, it's the most basic truth you can encounter:
But, our minds use tomorrow as an escape from today. The present moment turns into a stepping stone to some future time when you'll finally do what you need to do, have what you need to have, and be who you want to be. The mind does this so often that we become disconnected from "now," which means we don't take action in the only time we actually can (a condition known as procrastinating). And, if you don't take action in the present moment, you'll be in a constant state of anxiety (also known as the effects of procrastinating). Your mind perpetuates this cycle. It tells you that happiness, success, and fulfillment lie at some point down the road. When you reach that point, however, you always find your mind has pushed it farther down the road. You are being led around like a donkey following a carrot that is just out of reach. "BUT" - OBJECTIONS AND EXCUSES. Many people argue that being present means you can't plan or have goals. But these people confuse planning with dwelling and ruminating. Plan. Take action. Evaluate and adjust. And, do it all mindfully in the only time you can do it - now. That's different than getting wrapped up in mental drama about projected outcomes, and if/when scenarios about things happening or not happening. When it comes to dwelling and ruminating, there is another important factor to note: it uses your finite time and energy, which could otherwise be allocated to planning and executing your plans more effectively. You've probably heard a version of the saying "The journey is the destination." This implies that your attention and focus should be on the present moment, not on some future point that promises happiness. You can’t make your happiness reliant on something you need to do, change, or acquire, because there will always be something you need to do, change, or acquire. Instead, learn to be happy now. If you have a plan or goal and achieve it, be happy. If you have a plan or goal and don’t achieve it, still be happy because you put forth your best efforts. The question that's usually asked is "How do you live in the present moment?" But, this is the wrong question to ask. It should be "How do I keep my mind from pulling me out of the present moment?" The answer is simple: you strengthen awareness of your compulsive mind and the non-stop mental noise it produces. You learn to notice it all without getting caught up in it. When you see that your mind is pulling you away from "now," return your attention to the present moment. Do it over and over and over again. It takes practice, because you are reversing a lifetime of conditioning. With practice, however, you'll get better at it. And, as you get better at it, you realize that happiness isn't over the horizon. It's right here and now. <>
Our minds constantly create stories about what we experience, and we spend most of our time caught up in those stories. This results in the stress and struggles of daily life. "Your inner narrative" (our 15-day online course) can help you break that pattern. Read Day 1 here (no email required). note - this turned out to be one of our top five most read and recommended articles ever! The creator of meditationSHIFT published a new article on Medium. Here is an excerpt: "That’s the trap. Bob, like all of us, has always put off enjoying what he has right now for what he wants in the future. But, when that future arrives, there will be something else that he wants; there is always the promise of something perfect just beyond the horizon. Next week, next month, next year — that’s when Bob will finally have what he needs to be happy." Go to Medium to read the rest (you don't need to create an account to read it, but if you have an account and enjoy the article, please "Recommend" it). You can find all of Jon's articles on Medium here. < What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. Last updated August, 2021. We keep this site ad-free for our readers. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the end of this article to learn about our newest program, "Instruct your brain." It's time for another installment of "Question and Answer Tuesdays!" Brian writes: "When you discuss mindfulness, you talk about the present moment. What does it mean to be in the present moment? Aren't we by default always in the present moment?" Yes, technically speaking, we are by default always in the present moment. At least, your body is always in the present moment. The question is, where is your mind? Your mind has a tendency to do one of three things:
There are several problems with not being present. First, you aren't focused on the task at hand. At least part of your attention (sometimes a major part) is focused on something that isn't actually happening. As a result, your time and energy are not being fully utilized here and now. Second, you cause yourself to suffer. Some of the suffering is obvious: dwelling on the past leads to regret and depression, worrying about the future leads to stress and anxiety. What about daydreaming and fantasizing, though? How is that bad? You are creating an alternate reality for yourself - a reality that you deem more desirable than your current situation. You are rejecting the present moment - but, at some point, you have to return to it. And when you do, you probably aren't going to be happy. The bottom line is here and now is the only place you can ever experience life! Watch yourself for the rest of the day and see where your mind takes you. Are you focused on the present moment? Or, are you in the past, future, or some alternate reality? The good news is, when you cultivate mindfulness (strengthen awareness) you ground yourself in the present moment. You spend less time regretting, worrying, and fearing. You spend less time filled with stress and anxiety. And, you focus your attention and efforts on what you are doing now:
Whatever you are doing, be completely present with it. The more time you spend in the present moment, the more you realize that happiness, peace, and contentment isn't something you find "out there." To the contrary, it's all right here and now. You just need lo learn to focus your attention on it, and quit getting caught up in the stories of your mind. Instruct your brainIf your nervous system is in a constant state of high alert, your quality of life will suffer dramatically. Whether it's chronic pain, sleep problems, gastrointestinal disorders, or a plethora of other symptoms, your brain can wreak havoc on your body.
We can help you calm down your nervous system and improve your quality of life - click here to find out more. Thanks for visiting - 2023 marks our 20th anniversary! This site is ad-free and supported by sales of our online courses. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the bottom of the page and read Day 1 of "Your inner narrative" to see if it's right for you...no email required. We were considering a loftier title for this post - something like "Everything you always wanted to know about mindfulness and meditation." Or, "The ultimate guide to mindfulness and meditation." In "Wikipedia-esque" fashion, this post would cover it all:
But, Wikipedia actually does cover those things. It discusses the history, definitions, and different types of meditation, as well as postures, health benefits, and even pop-culture references! Do you want to know the difference between insight and concentration meditation? Wikipedia will tell you. In fact, when people contact us they are usually suffering from information overload. There is so much out there, they are confused, overwhelmed, and wondering where to start and what to focus on. Over the past 20 years, we have taught tens of thousands of people around the world how to better understand their minds. And, more important, how to stop the suffering their minds cause. In the first three months of this year alone (editor's note - this was 2014), almost 5,000 people read our free guide to mindfulness and meditation. There seems to be more interest now than ever before! The mainstream media has popularized mindfulness and meditation. TIME Magazine featured it on the cover of their February 2014 issue, and this year's Super Bowl winner (again, this was 2014) - the Seattle Seahawks - claimed meditation played a part in their victory. The publicity has people interested, but they have trouble finding a straight-forward explanation. This post is meant to provide that. It is not a "how to guide" - we've written one of those, and you can read it for free (link at the bottom of this page). This post is the "why" and "what" in a simple, concise manner. >>> "If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough." - Albert Einstein "Your mind is compulsive and incessant: it's always going. If your attention is lost in it, you'll suffer as a result. Meditation is bringing your attention back to the present moment." - meditationSHIFT <<< HAVE YOU MET YOUR MIND? There is a voice inside your head. I’m sure you've noticed it. It tells you stories - some positive and some negative. If you're like the rest of us, probably more negative than positive. That voice is your mind, and your mind is compulsive. It's always going, and it creates thoughts, emotions, urges, and stories that you get caught up in. This "mental noise" comes and goes seemingly at random, and your mind bounces around from subject to subject like a puppy exploring a new house. In any given minute, you might think about bills you have to pay, a project for work or school, errands you need to run, that article you read earlier, the health of a family member, the person who was rude to you yesterday...you might have fear or anxiety over some pending event...you might remember a friend from grade school, or dwell on how your boss is a jerk. Observing the mind's compulsive, sporadic nature is entertaining, amazing, and frightening all at the same time! What's ironic is that for every thought you're actually aware of, there are A LOT more that you aren't aware of. Think of the air you breathe - you don't see it, but you are surrounded by it. Or an iceberg - what you see above the surface is just the tip; underneath there is much, much more. Thoughts are the same. This is an important point because the small amount of thoughts you're aware of is usually overwhelming. If those are overwhelming, what effect is the large amount you're not aware of having on you? People say things like:
Look at it like a pond of muddy water: there is a lot of stuff floating around, and it's hard to see very far because it's murky and dark. But, without a doubt, what you can see is only a small fraction of what's actually there. >>> "Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone." - Alan Watts "Don't try to control your mind or 'force' it to do something - just observe it. If you simply observe, things become clear." - meditationSHIFT <<< To summarize:
Mindfulness and meditation can help with these challenges. In the simplest of terms, practicing both will allow you to:
note - A lot of people are unaware of the problems created by their compulsive minds, and will deny it affects "who they are" and "what they do." Most people have to achieve a certain level of awareness before they even realize how lost in thought they usually are. But, there's an easy way to see it all for yourself: get a pen and paper, sit down in a comfortable chair, start a timer for 10 minutes, and write down every thought you have until the timer goes off. It's rare anyone makes it the entire 10 minutes. And, even though you're attempting to actively observe your mind, you'll still miss the majority of what it produces! MEDITATION - STRENGTHENING AWARENESS Meditation is often compared to exercising. The more you exercise, the stronger your muscles get. If we stay with this analogy and consider meditation the exercise, awareness is the muscle you are making stronger. When you meditate, you build up your awareness. You improve your ability to concentrate and observe. This allows you to develop the skill of seeing what your mind is doing without getting caught up in it. We have all noticed our thoughts before. You've probably asked yourself the following at some point:
Meditation builds on this by putting focused attention on your mind. You strengthen awareness, and develop an understanding of the process that occurs from thought to action/reaction. When you understand this process, you can interrupt it; it's no longer automatic. We all dwell on thoughts, and much of the time those thoughts are unskillful. For example:
A consistent meditation practice keeps you from indulging in this mental drama, and teaches you to move your attention away from it. You realize you don't have to believe what your mind tells you. There's even better news: through direct experience, you see that thoughts aren't permanent. They are like the weather - wait a while, and it will change. Thoughts will pass unless you give them fuel to persist. We do this by indulging them, making them "ours," or trying to suppress them. When they persist, they appear permanent - and, our minds are happy to help with this illusion by producing even more thoughts to get lost in. But, they aren't permanent. When you meditate, you are able to observe their temporary nature: you can watch them come into being, exist, and cease. And, instead of getting caught up in them, you learn to let them pass the same as you watched them arise (let them go the same as they came). note - we did not say meditation will help you "stop thinking." That's a common misconception. What's important is that you don't need to stop thinking. The fact that your mind is compulsive and the mental noise is constant and pervasive is NOT the problem. The problem is you identify with thoughts - you spend most of your day lost in them. Meditation solves that problem. HOW DOES MINDFULNESS FIT IN? Meditating is the exercise you do to strengthen awareness. Mindfulness is applying the skill you develop while meditating to your "non-meditating time." If you don't practice mindfulness, you won't realize the benefits of meditating. A good analogy that will help you understand how they work together comes from looking at the role of an athlete: If you are an athlete, you practice so you can perform well in the game. "Practice" is meditation. "Performing" is mindfulness. "The game" is daily life. We meditate so we can be mindful in our daily lives. The more you sit and practice (meditation), the more it carries through to your non-sitting and non-practicing time (mindfulness). The goal is for mindfulness to permeate all aspects of your life. Why is mindfulness important? It's best you discover that answer for yourself. You can do so by watching your mind for the rest of the day and answering these questions:
If you're like the rest of us, you will find that your mind keeps you anywhere but right here and now. Mindfulness, however, grounds you in the present moment. You spend less time regretting, worrying, and fearing. You spend less time stressed and anxious. Instead, you focus your attention on what's happening "now": walking, talking to a friend, working, eating, washing dishes, playing with your dog, et cetera. Whatever you are doing, you are present with it. And, the more time you spend in the present, the more you realize happiness, peace, and contentment isn't something you find "out there." To the contrary, it's here and now. But, it's usually buried under the drama your mind produces; mindfulness helps you uncover it. >>> "Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now. And that's a revelation for some people: to realize that your life is only ever now." - Eckhart Tolle "If your happiness lies on the other side of some future event, you will never find it. Happiness exists when you fully understand that the only time you can live your life is now." - meditationSHIFT <<< GETTING IT DONE Mindfulness and meditation have been shown to deliver numerous benefits. But, to realize those benefits, you need to develop a consistent practice. You need to have dedicated time to meditate – we recommend a minimum of 15 minutes twice daily. You can work your way up to that, but you need discipline, patience, and persistence to do it. That's where your overall view is important. If you look at this as just another chore, or a task to put on your "to-do list," you are setting yourself up for failure. Instead, view meditation as the path to mindfulness, and mindfulness in your daily life as the ultimate goal. In doing so, you will realize it's a way of being, not another appointment you need to schedule. <>
Our minds constantly create stories about what we experience, and we spend most of our time caught up in those stories. This results in the stress and struggles of daily life. "Your inner narrative" (our 15-day online course) can help you break that pattern. Read Day 1 here (no email required). And, if you're looking for our free guide, you can find it here. Do you follow us on Facebook? If not, please do! "Like" our page here, and you will receive short, sometimes funny, always insightful posts to help you through your day. Yesterday it was "The Dude" meditating, today it is this: We have all heard that "happiness is fleeting." Why is that a popular quote? We spend today thinking about tomorrow. We are either worried or hopeful. Worry causes stress, fear, and anxiety. Hope sounds nice but, in reality, you are looking to the future for happiness. If the future holds the promise of happiness, you will reach the end of your journey never realizing it. And, "happiness is fleeting" will be a quote that remains popular. Here is another quote we have all heard: "The present moment is the only time you can live." It's not just a feel-good platitude. If you fully understand it, you can break the cycle of spending today thinking about tomorrow. And, you can discover happiness now...a happiness that is not fleeting. < What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. |