Last updated October, 2019. Before you scroll down...we keep this site ad-free for our readers. If you get value from what we write, please consider supporting us by checking out the overview for our best-selling work, "An owner's guide to the mind". It's time for another installment of "Question and Answer Tuesdays!" Bill writes: "If I really focus on the music I listen to and don't let my mind wander, is that a form of meditation? I know meditation is focusing on the breath or a mantra, but I find that I can focus really well on music I like." This is a great question, because it allows us to talk about the difference between mindfulness and meditation (and how they work together). Based on your description, you are listening to music mindfully - and, that's a good thing! The ultimate goal for me is to be mindful in everything I do, which is why I meditate every day. MINDFULNESS AND MEDITATION, EXPLAINED When you meditate, you strengthen awareness (cultivate mindfulness) of your thoughts, emotions, and urges - as well as the stories that play on a constant loop in your head. You develop the skill of noticing it all without getting caught up in it. Mindfulness is transferring that skill to the rest of your day when you aren't meditating. If you are doing things mindfully, you aren't distracted by thoughts about the past or future (or, some alternate reality). Instead, your attention is fully on the task at hand: working, playing, talking to a friend, washing the dishes, walking the dog, listening to music, et cetera. What does that mean to you? The human condition is "lost in thought," and we tend to go through life at the mercy of whatever our minds produce next. This results in the problems we all struggle with every day: stress, anxiety, depression, self-doubt, worry, regret, a lack of focus, and so on. If properly taught and applied, mindfulness and meditation can help with all of these struggles, and have a profound effect on your overall health and well-being. ANCHORS AND MISCONCEPTIONS I want to touch on a few other things from your question. You said, "I know meditation is focusing on the breath or a mantra..." You do focus your attention on the breath or a mantra. Those things serve as an anchor - when you notice that your attention has wandered, you return it to that anchor. But, "focusing on the anchor" isn't the goal - "noticing and returning" is the goal. Notice and return, over and over again (remember, you are developing a skill). Your next question might be "Can I use music as an anchor?" The answer is no, and here's why: music usually gives rise to thoughts and emotions associated with it ("I love that song!" "I'm not a fan of this song." "I hate that song!"). Your anchor should be something neutral to avoid that happening. Even if it's a mantra, the mantra should be something meaningless and simple - that's why the most commonly used mantra is the sound "om/aum." Don't take this to mean that you shouldn't have thoughts and emotions when you meditate. That's a common misconception. But, meditating isn't about stopping or blocking out thoughts and emotions. It's about noticing whatever arises and learning not to get caught up in it. By using a neutral anchor, however, you aren't confusing the issue by adding conditioning that comes with something such as your favorite music (or a phrase that carries special meaning). Notice and return, over and over. And then go listen to your music mindfully! Held hostage by the drama your mind creates? We can help.Thanks for visiting - 2023 marks our 20th anniversary! This site is ad-free and supported by sales of our online courses. If you get value from what we write, click the link at the bottom of the page and read Day 1 of "Your inner narrative" to see if it's right for you...no email required. It's time for another installment of "Question and Answer Tuesdays!" This week, we had similar questions from both Stacy and Adam: "How does 'observing thoughts' fit in with meditating? Do you watch them, or do you focus your attention on your mantra? I'm not sure which of the two I do, or if I try to do them both at once. And, what does a meditation session look like as you move between the mantra and thinking?" These are common questions. It can be confusing, especially when you read different instructions from different teachers. First, observing doesn't imply an active component. This means when you observe thoughts, you don't analyze or interact with them. You simply watch them as they come into being, exist, and cease (i.e., as they arise and pass). Second, you can only observe thoughts when you become aware of them. You can't observe thoughts when you are lost in them. And, meditating is a formal exercise that helps you move from "lost in thoughts" to "aware of thoughts". When you are meditating, you have an anchor - the two most common are your breath and a mantra. You focus your attention on this anchor. At some point, you will notice your attention has wandered and you'll become aware of thoughts. You may notice it immediately, or it may take some time. Regardless, once you notice, simply guide your attention back to the anchor. When you do this over and over again, two things happen:
"Learning to observe what arises and passes without getting caught up in it" (#2 above) is a skill you develop while meditating. This skill is made possible by training your attention (#1 above). As you develop this skill, it allows you to make a choice in each unfolding moment:
Indulging is our normal choice, though it's a bit of a misnomer to call it "a choice." Our default state is unaware, following our minds wherever they lead, mindlessly indulging mental phenomena, reacting habitually to desires and aversions. This default state results in our struggles and suffering. Not indulging allows us to move away from this default state. As far as how this unfolds in a meditation session, here's a sample of what it may look like (using a mantra as the anchor):
And so it goes! <>
Our minds constantly create stories about what we experience, and we spend most of our time caught up in those stories. This results in the stress and struggles of daily life. "Your inner narrative" (our 15-day online course) can help you break that pattern. Read Day 1 here (no email required). Last updated December, 2017. note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required). The following post was written by Chelsea, our Chief Mindfulness Officer and creator of "ARC: mindfulness for children." -- We all know someone who exemplifies the word “productive” and just seems to always get things done. They always appear calm and collected, and never actually look busy while being busy. Their grip on efficiency puts others to shame, and they do it with such effortless grace that you can’t help but to look at them with a mixture of awe and envy. There is a plethora of articles out there with lists of tips to boost productivity, and they can be very helpful. They talk about chunking out your time, limiting distractions, prioritizing to-do lists, and taking care of your body (i.e. getting enough rest, eating right, and exercising). But, one thing that keeps popping up more and more on these lists is mindfulness meditation. This is not a coincidence. Productivity has several ingredients, but the key additives are time, focus, and energy. Becoming more mindful through a consistent meditation practice can give you more of all three. How? By keeping you grounded in the present moment. “The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all other moments.” ~Thich Nhat HanhHow many times have you ended your day wondering where all your time went? I’m not talking about those occasional days that go by quickly because you were so immersed in the tasks at hand that you lost track of time - most of us have experienced being in a state of “flow,” and there’s no denying that it’s a wonderful state to be in. But, how many of your day-to-day activities get you there? Life is full of the mundane tasks that are necessary, but fail to challenge us. We know they need to get done, but saying that it’s easy to get distracted in the world we live in is a gross understatement. Your day begins and before you know it, it’s over with little progress to show for it. This isn’t just bad for your productivity; this loss of time can wreak havoc on your sense of accomplishment and self-esteem. Placing yourself firmly in the present moment will pull you out of the hazy mind-fog that distraction, multi-tasking, and running on auto-pilot produce. If you learn how to pay attention to each and every moment, you suddenly have more of them. And, more moments infused with your undivided attention yield more accomplishment, which will energize you and give you the motivation you need to reclaim the rest of your time. What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. Last updated October, 2017. note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required). Look at your email Inbox - what's it like? Are you the person who strives to keep it empty? When an email comes in, do you immediately decide what to do with it: take action, delegate, file, or delete? Or, are you like the other 99.9% of us who have a cluttered Inbox? I have an email dating back to February of last year in my Inbox. It's there because I was supposed to do something with it. Once a month I open it and remember what I was supposed to do. This has been going on for almost a year now, but there it sits...mocking me. Can you relate? Now, compare your mind to your email Inbox. And, thoughts to emails. When a new thought pops up, what do you do with it? Does it just sit there, cluttering up your mind? Do you try to ignore it, but get annoyed when you catch a glimpse of it? Or, do you purposefully keep it around "just in case?" Our minds tend to be much worse than our Inboxes. They are full of thoughts - what do you do with them? If you like them (i.e., you label them "good" or "positive"), you might try to keep them around; this is akin to forced positive thinking. If you don't like them (i.e., you label them "bad" or "negative"), you might try to suppress or repress them; this is never a healthy option. But, for all of the thoughts you know about, there are a lot more you don't know about. Your mind doesn't have an "off-switch" - it's constantly producing thoughts, and you're not even aware of most of them. You're not alone, though - if it's any consolation, this is the case for all of us (whether we realize it or not). As Eckhart Tolle often points out: "The human condition is lost in thought. " Regardless of your level of awareness, all of these thoughts are there. They give rise emotions, which lead to more thoughts and more emotions, which culminates in conditioned behavior (decisions, actions, reactions). And, this process determines your state of being. Returning to the analogy: If your mind is like a cluttered Inbox, you are most likely in a perpetual state of stress. You probably find yourself overwhelmed much of the time. You might suffer from feelings of anxiety or depression, as well as issues with sleep, focus, productivity, and so on. If, on the other hand, your mind is not like a cluttered Inbox, you are most likely in a more content state much of the time. You might find you are creative and focused, which results in greater productivity. And you probably don't lay awake at night, dwelling on thoughts of everything that has gone wrong (or, could go wrong) in your life. The question is, how do you "un-clutter" your mind? Especially if you don't even know about most of what's there? It's a bit of a trick question, because you don't actually un-clutter it. Instead, you learn to move your attention away from it and let it be as it is. You do this by strengthening awareness of your mind and its non-stop activity. You develop the skill of noticing it all without getting caught up in it. This is the essence of meditating. If you develop a consistent practice and bring mindfulness to your daily life, you will distance yourself from the mental clutter of the 50,000+ thoughts you are exposed to every day. Instead of continually being caught up in all of it - instead of being dragged around by all of it - you use what you need, and move your attention away from the rest. As a result, your life (unlike your Inbox) will be less chaotic. Now I need to figure out what to do with that email from last February. Stop dealing with the symptoms.Stress, anxiety, self-confidence issues, the inability to stop bad habits, problems with sleep and focus, and on and on and on.
These and the other things we struggle with every day are only symptoms. The good news is, they all share the same root cause. The bad news is, if you don't address that root cause, the symptoms will keep coming back no matter what you do. That's why we wrote "An owner's guide to the mind." For almost 20 years, people have been using it to address the root cause of their daily struggles. Click here to view the contents and learn more. Last updated November, 2017. note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required). The following post was written by Chelsea, our Chief Mindfulness Officer and creator of "ARC: mindfulness for children." -- Thanksgiving and its two alter-egos, Black Friday and Cyber Monday, have just passed. The few stores that hadn’t gilded their displays in Christmas colors the minute Halloween was over have surely done so by now. The pressure is on and the clock is ticking, but the month of December doesn’t have to feel like a mad dash to the end of the year. Here are a few tips on how to stay mindful and keep the joy-killing stress at bay. 1.) Don’t just be grateful, stay grateful. We spend Thanksgiving Day surrounded by family and friends in celebration of everything we have because it’s easy to forget just how lucky we are. When we’re embroiled in the everyday events of home life and work, it’s nice to have a designated holiday as a reminder to pause and be thankful for our health and loved ones. But, gratitude doesn’t need to be relegated to just one day a year or to such big-ticket items. Carry that sense of appreciation into December and beyond by starting (and committing to!) a gratitude journal and writing down a couple of things that strike you each day - you’d be surprised at the number of things to be grateful for when you actually start to take notice. Little things like another checkout lane opening up in the grocery store or finding a decent parking spot will start making their way onto an ever-growing list of favorite things, and before you know it, Julie Andrews won’t have nothin’ on you. Noticing the small stuff each day will help keep you grounded, humble, and focused on one awesome thing at a time. 2.) Engage your senses. Visions of sugarplums may dance in our heads when we think of the holidays, but taste isn’t the only sense that the season can titillate. Breathe in deeply and immerse yourself in the wonderful scents of the season such as nutmeg, cinnamon, and pine. Watch your breath crystallize into fog in the chilly air, and bathe in the warmth of a fire or a cozy sweater. Have you ever driven down the road on a frosty night with the windows down and the heater blasting on your feet? Do it; it’s like apple pie à la mode for your sense of touch. Listen to the tinkling of bells and laughter, and look at the arrays of colorful lights and happy faces. The holiday season is a veritable cornucopia of all-around sensory stimulation that you can use to envelope yourself in the present moment. 3.) Simplify. With everything going on, now is not the time to try out that new super-complicated recipe. Stock up on frozen foods and bust out a few easy casseroles over the coming weeks. Making your menus quick and simple will allow you to spend your evenings on the things that really matter. Long gift list? Stage a minor rebellion against consumerism and consider limiting your “nice” list to immediate family members only. For large families, Secret Santa gift-giving can lighten your load both mentally and financially. Or, you could ditch the tangibles completely and opt for donating to your loved ones’ favorite charities in their names. 4.) Don't forget to take care of yourself, too. While the holiday season is the time of year when we think about others the most, it’s important to remember self-care. Take a bath, read a book, get a massage... and don’t skip your meditation sessions! Give yourself permission to say “no," and reassess your obligations. Not every party needs you there (I promise!), so limit the number of commitments you make. Everyone has their limits, so be aware of and accept yours. Your sanity will thank you for it. 5.) Walk it off. The temperatures have plummeted and it’s tempting to stay inside under the covers, but taking a walk will do more than help you burn that bird: being outside in the sunlight can be a great mood-booster and help you reset your gauges. The brisk air will help clear your mind, and the exercise will give you more energy to deal with any challenges that might pop up (like a last, lonely cookie that needs to be eaten). So, bundle up and move it outside! The moral of the story is that the holiday season is supposed to be a time of warmth and happiness; if you truly enjoy baking 25 dozen cookies each December and hosting a gazillion parties, then do it. But, stretching yourself thin can quickly dull your ability to stay in the present moment enough to enjoy it. Re-evaluate your priorities and ditch anything that’s not essential, because your presence - both physical and mental - is the best gift you can give anyway. What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. Last updated December, 2017. note: we link to our free guide to mindfulness and meditation at the bottom of the page (no email required). The following post was written by Chelsea, our Chief Mindfulness Officer and creator of "ARC: mindfulness for children." -- I changed my walking route the other day as I am wont to do every so often. The park in which I’d been walking for the past few months was becoming a little too familiar and crowded, and my daily 45-minute walk was beginning to feel more like an hour and a half. I chose the new trail based on the abundance of trees that I could see lining its sides from the road - fall is in full swing here and, like many others, I am a huge fan of the beautiful colors that come with the change of season. Combine that with the sounds of resident birds and rustling leaves, and you’ve got my idea of the perfect setting for a walking meditation. I was about 15 minutes through my walk when I came to a fork in the trail. I decided on the section of the trail that veered off to the right and continued along for a few minutes when suddenly I was shocked into a full stop. It was a patch of bright red and gold leaves that had caught my attention, but it wasn’t so much the color itself that had stopped me (fiery colors are everywhere at this time of year). It was the vibrant contrast that the color presented. I had walked into a stretch of evergreens without realizing it, and there was a small copse of maple trees that had somehow found its home amidst the pines. My vision felt slightly seared as I stood there staring at the blazing red surrounded by all that green, and I realized that I’d been lost in my thoughts and unaware that the landscape had changed. I’d become habituated; the vibrant hues of fall had no longer been holding my attention, and it took a visual interruption to jolt me back into the present moment. In the realm of psychology, the word habituation is defined as “the diminishing of a physiological or emotional response to a frequently repeated stimulus.” In short, we get used to things the more we’re exposed to them. This ability to quickly digest new information and move on to something else is an advantage to us as children because it helps us learn about the world around us (in fact, it’s seen as an indicator of intelligence in infants). But, what does a novelty-seeking nature mean for us in adulthood? Sure, it keeps us moving forward and learning, but the part of our brains that compels us to seek out new stimuli in order to learn and grow is the same part that causes us to lose wonder, interest, and contentment in things simply because they have become familiar to us. Louis CK did a comedy bit awhile back in which he talked about how everything is amazing but no one is happy, and the message he was sending is worth reiterating: As a society, we have become so accustomed to the convenience of things around us that we no longer experience the amazement and joy that they afford. They no longer captivate us or inspire us or cause us to pause. We’ve grown mental calluses that numb our perception and experience, leaving us yearning for the ever-demanding more and searching for happiness outside of ourselves. Habituation is in our nature and can be used to our advantage, but it’s important to maintain (or create) a balance between assimilation and apathy. As Larry Watson said: "With so much unknown in this life, how little it takes for a face, a grove of trees, an outcropping of stone to become familiar.” Familiarize yourself, but don’t let the extraordinary become displaced and mundane. Take care that the word “acquaint” doesn’t become synonymous with “forget,” and take pleasure in the small. Because sometimes the small is what inspires the most mindful moments. What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. Chelsea, our Chief Mindfulness Officer and creator of "ARC: mindfulness for children," published a new article on the social journalism site Medium (started by the founders of Twitter). Here is an excerpt: "I remember being alone in my kitchen, clutching the counter and sinking to the floor, thinking 'so this is how I die: a fat girl choking on a Dorito'... I decided right then and there that I was going to change my eating habits and pay more attention to what I ate and how I ate it. It was time for a little mindful eating: a topic around which quite a few articles and blog posts have been constructed lately, and for good reason. Mindful eating can completely change your relationship with food, and I’ve listed a few of the tactics that helped me the most." Go to Medium to read the rest: "How I changed my eating habits with mindfulness and a bag of chips." < What are you trying to "cope" with?
Coping doesn't work - addressing the root cause does. We'll show you how. Thanks for visiting - last year (2023) marked our 20th anniversary! In 2024 we're releasing our newest program - it helps people who are stuck in a constant state of fight-or-flight. You can read more about it by clicking the link at the bottom of this article. It's time for another installment of "Question and Answer Tuesdays!" Erica writes: "I've read a lot about meditating on the Internet and, to be honest, it's very confusing. There seem to be dozens of different types, and conflicting instructions on what to do and how to do it. What type of meditation should I focus on? Or, should I do more than one type of meditation? I really don't know where to start." When you Google "how to meditate," you'll find millions of results (seriously!). We constantly get questions on how the different types compare, and which one somebody should practice: Samatha (or concentration), Vipassana (or insight), mindfulness, zazen, metta (or loving-kindness), guided, transcendental, MBSR...the list goes on and on. There are a lot of methods. There's a lot of advice. And, as you pointed out, much of it conflicts! It's easy to suffer information overload, which - according to Wikipedia - leads to a reduction in decision quality and a likelihood of no action being taken. That's a bit disheartening: there's so much information available that it overwhelms a lot of people and, as a result, they won't even attempt to meditate. It doesn't have to be complicated, though. The question I ask people is "Why do you want to meditate?" These are the most popular answers:
The one thing these answers have in common is a need to better understand the mind. Once you begin to understand the mind, how it works, and the problems it creates in your life, then you can focus on the method. If you don't have this understanding, however, you'll probably view meditating as a chore or an item to check off your "to-do list." That means you will bounce around from one type of meditation to another, never really focusing, and abandoning your efforts after a short period of time. In order to understand the mind, you need to become aware of the filters and constructs it places on top of reality. Put simply, we don't see things as they are - we see things as our minds present them. This brings us full circle to the original question: "What type of meditation do I focus on?" My answer is simple: when you strip away all the extraneous stuff, there is only ONE type. This one type involves strengthening awareness (also known as "cultivating mindfulness"), and learning to notice your mind and its activity (also known as "mental noise") without getting caught up in it. One more time: strengthening awareness and learning to notice your mind and its activity without getting caught up in it. What do we call this one type? Meditating! No fancy names, no extra labels, no added complexity. Here are the steps:
Don't get frustrated if it takes you a while to notice your attention has wandered from your anchor - sometimes you catch it immediately, sometimes it takes longer. It doesn't matter - simply return it to your anchor when you do notice. Notice and return, over and over and over again. As you develop more experience, attempt to actively refrain from judging and labeling thoughts, emotions, or anything else that arises. Drop the urge to categorize "this" as good or positive and "that" as bad or negative. Thoughts are just thoughts. Emotions are just emotions. They hold no special power over you unless you give it to them. They will go the same as they came, provided you don't cling to them and make them "yours." And, provided you don't try to chase after what gives you pleasant feelings or run away from what gives you unpleasant feelings. If you observe instead of interfering, you will see everything progress through a natural cycle of arising (coming), existing for a time, and passing (going). Don't get mad if a sound interrupts your practice. If something itches and you have to scratch it, scratch it. If you have to shift your position, shift your position. At the same time, if you can notice discomfort and the desire to alleviate it (scratching, shifting) and let it pass without acting on it, then do so. After all, discomfort is just discomfort. And, thoughts about discomfort are just thoughts about discomfort. And, urges to do something are just urges to do something. Simply return your attention to your anchor once you notice it has wandered and you're caught up in thoughts. Notice and return, over and over and over again. What does this do for you? If you develop a consistent practice, it gets easier to observe thoughts, emotions, and urges when you aren't practicing: this is referred to as being mindful. As you go through your day, you can see this "mental noise" as it arises and realize you don't have to get caught up in it or react to every single thing that happens around (or inside) you. Instead, you learn to let it all be as it is, independent of you and your attention. This is commonly referred to as "letting thoughts and emotions go," or letting them pass. It means you are choosing not to follow them down a path that culminates in conditioned behavior and habitual actions and reactions - a path that leads to struggles with stress, anxiety, self-doubt, et cetera. That's it. Forget all the different types, forget the labels, forget the complexity. Just start. Why not set a timer for 5 minutes right now? ___Are you stuck in a constant state of fight-or-flight? Are you struggling with all the problems it causes?
Are you even aware of all the problems it causes? If this sounds like you, read more about our newest program here. |